Heartbreak
by klcm
Summary: Penelope's been hiding a secret and yet serious health condition from the team and Derek only finds out when they're last words are all of hurt and hate... will he get a 2nd chance with her?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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'Derek.' Penelope pleaded through the glass panel of the door, she was out of breath, she was tired and she was actually heartbroken. 'I didn't do anything with Kevin!' She heaved as her emotions ran wild. 'Please believe me.'

The door opened and Derek just looked at her, his eyes showing just how shattered he was feeling at Kevin and Penelope's open display of affection.

'Please.' She pleaded once again.

'Please what? You kissed him, how am I supposed to feel?' He asked heartbroken. 'I told you I loved you and you, selfishly, threw it in my face!'

'I didn't!' She cried at him. 'He kissed me, I pushed him off!'

'Fuck off did you Pen, you looked at me as you kissed him, right into my eyes and you didn't push him away.'

'I did, I ran after you remember.' Penelope told him, she had ran after him and they'd had the biggest argument of all times, in the middle of a car park over her ex, she put a hand to her chest, something wasn't right. 'Derek, you need to believe me please you need to.'

'Why should I?'

'Because I love you.'

Derek laughed. 'You should go away and think about that Garcia.' He said and went back inside, slamming the door on Penelope's face.

'All I've ever done is love you.' Pen said before walking away slowly, she didn't know about Derek feeling heartbroken, she'd just joined that part of life. Dragging her sluggish feeling body to her car she got in and just sat there, all of a sudden she felt tiredness sweep in and she just took it. The only light she had was the streetlight, the rest of the night darkening her. Derek looked out and saw the back of Penelope's old Cadillac by the hedges of his garden, without another thought he just closed the curtains and went to bed with his heavy heart.

Penelope gasped awake; her hands shook as she went for her tablets. She rummaged through her purse and found the pot, she then threw it, it was empty and she wasn't getting any better. She was suppose to go get the prescription done 2 days ago but the case and the date and Kevin had distracted her. She had no time to waste; she pulled herself out of her car and somehow made it to Derek's door, ringing the door bell more than once she just waited, her breathing now a heave, for Derek.

Derek jolted awake from his less than perfect sleep and looked at the time, it was barely 2:30 and someone was at his door, pulling on clothes the ringing came again.

'Hang on! I'm coming.' He said coming down the stairs, he saw the outline but with it being dark out he couldn't work out who it was. Turning the porch light on he saw it was Penelope.

'You need to learn when you're not wanted Penelope.' He told her angrily as he swung the door open. His eyes caught hers and he knew something wasn't right here. 'Pen?'

'I need a hospital now.' She said as her energy went and her legs made her slip down the beam she leaning on.

Derek's panic rose and he got next to her, running his hands over her face, trying to get a lucid look from her. 'Baby girl, what's wrong? What have you done?'

'I haven't... done a thing.' She said as she put her hand to chest as though it'd help her breathe easier. 'I need help.'

Derek grabbed his phone and called for help, he looked and saw the car still parked where it was and he knew something was wrong. 'Pen... What's wrong?'

'I need tablets, I have a heart condition.' She told him slowly and with difficulty, her energy level going down more and more. 'I've run out.' She said and heaved more, tears pricking her eyes before pouring out, this lack of breath was scaring her and Derek knew she was scared right at that moment. 'I...' She began as her energy depleted a bit more and Derek focused on her as she slowly looked ready to sleep. 'Just believe me.' She said as her heart stopped beating her and breathing stopped, her eyes closed and her body went limp in his arms.

Derek, with streaming eyes, laid her down; trying not to let his emotions rule began CPR. 'Come on Pen. I need to believe you.' He said like a prayer, she couldn't die on him. She couldn't leave with their last words being an argument.

He continued to try and get her to breathe until the paramedics turned up and pushed him out of the way and took over.

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_**A/N:**_ So I've had a burst of something!!! Hope you liked! Lemme know guys!!! =)

Make for a happier muse =P


	2. From Good To Bad

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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6 months earlier....

The team trudged in after another case, their minds already mentally writing the reports that were waiting. They wanted their homes, their sanctuaries, a place for them.

But they knew they had to wait for such safety. Entering the bullpen they all smiled. Sitting their desks were a coffee each, a bag and a note.

'Penelope Garcia strikes again.' Derek said with a larger smile as he picked up the note for him.

*Well, well, well, what's that I see right there at your desk? Would it be a piece of chocolate deliciousness? Oh no wait that's you! Silly me!

Anywho! Enjoy the cupcake, cupcake!  
Love P  
X*

He couldn't help but laugh at her even if it was in note form. He knew where she was right now, why she wasn't here to greet them; her and Kevin were having a deep conversation, one about their future. Kevin was gonna propose tonight and something about that made him breathless and his head spin.

Emily smiled more as she pulled the bag apart. With the bag in hand she then grabbed the note  
*Hey honey! Got your favourite so eat that case away! Love Pen*

Reid grabbed the note and knew Penelope hadn't let him down. *Hey kiddo, get that sweet tooth satisfied! Love Pen* he opened the bag to find a chocolate brownie and immediately broke a bit off and ate.

'Hungry there kid?' Derek asked him as he sunk into his chair and grabbed his cake.

'Just a bit.' Reid replied innocently. 'How does she know our favourites?'

'Oh Reid, you might be amazing at facts but with Pen you lack, she knows more than she let's on.'

'I second that!' Derek replied with a mouthful, and Emily rolled her eyes before starting her report.

JJ sunk into her chair immediately before her eyes ran over the drink, bag and note. She took a large sip of the drink and sat forward completely. *JJ, kitten, enjoy a little you time before that gorgeous kiddie and hubby consume you! Pen x*she smiled and felt at ease, looking in the bag she smiled more as a cookie sat in the bottom.

Rossi grabbed the note in his usual manner and read it as he stood. *Well I couldn't guess your sweet tooth favourite so I went with what I know. G* he looked in the bag and laughed. There in his bag were 3 tiny bottles of his favourite scotch.

Hotch walked into his office and saw the white bag as it sat primly with a large coffee and a note. Immediately the guilt consumed him and he remembered how rude he'd been to Penelope throughout that case, looking in the bag he saw a sugar doughnut and then he smirked and grabbed the note.

*You dare apologise for the case I'll have to tell Jack his father's into cannibalism... Enjoy the doughnut boss man! G*

He put the note down and left his office. 'Go home guys, get some rest, the report will be there in the morning.' He said and everyone gratefully got their bags, coffee, cake and left.

Penelope was near enough on cloud 9 as she entered her apartment, she had long since accepted 2nd best and she was happy with her decisions in life. She was happy and settled after the case, content with herself for leaving the team their own unique little presents.

'Hey honey.' Penelope said as Kevin left her bedroom, she looked past him and saw the suitcase on the bed, her smile dropped, her good mood depleted in an instance. 'Kevin, what's happening? Are you going away?'

'I'm leaving.' He said and a guilty look hung on his features. 'I've been lying to you for too long now and I can't do this anymore.'

'Excuse me? Lying to me?' Penelope asked as her heart faltered, she thought she was coming home to a marriage proposal, she told Derek she was excited about the idea of marrying Kevin Lynch and as he stood there she realised how much of a liar she'd been. 'Leaving me?'

'I'm seeing someone else Penny.'

She saw red then. 'Penny? It's Penelope and you have the audacity to tell me, I need to stop talking to Derek and you're seeing someone else. Who is she?'

'It doesn't matter.'

'Are you going to her now?'

'To him yes.' That hit her and stilled her, him, did he just say him? 'I'm gay, and I did love you when we started this and my family were happy that I'd found a nice girl with the idea of settling down but it's always been there and I can't lie about what I am.'

'You're gay?' She asked and she felt her hands shake, she felt sick. 'Get out.' She said as she tried her keep her tears a bay and get through this torture. 'Leave my place now and never come near me again.'

'Penelope... I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen.'

'No it just did didn't it?' She asked him and stepped away from his hands as he tried to touch her. 'Why didn't you just go with the 'It's not you, it's me' bull shit!' She said and grabbed what she could and threw it at him, first a cushion, then a vase, then a photo frame, then another cushion, she just kept it going, Kevin dodging it all. 'I seriously thought you were going to propose tonight.' She said and threw a glass dish. 'Get out Kevin!' She near enough screamed as she kept herself as strong as she could.

Kevin left pretty sharply after that, he made a dash, telling her he'd brought her stuff back and that he was sorry, and he left kicking himself. He was going to gently ease it into the I'm leaving you moment not just do it but he had be culminating everything. For some reason the idea of his girlfriend and Derek Morgan continually flirting angered him more now that he was leaving than it ever had.

As the door shut over the broken glass, Penelope broke. She sunk to the floor and sat there, hot angry tears flew down her cheeks and she just put her hands to her lip and wondered how it'd all gone wrong. She had been bragging to Derek how happy she was, how she was ready to move onto the next stage of her life and she couldn't wait to be married.

Now, however, that was all back at being a pipe dream, all being up on the drawing board and she had to go to work the next day and be happy, and chatty, and laugh, and be excited and calm everyone's stresses so she sucked in a deep breath and went to clean up the multiple, now smashed, objects that littered her apartment.


	3. Routines And Truth

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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Penelope went into work the next day with her heart torn out, she'd had the night from hell, a night of lack of sleep, a night of pain, and that wasn't even down to Kevin _'gay'_ Lynch. As she walked the corridor from elevator to office she just did it without a thought in her head.

'Hey baby girl, or should I say Mrs Soon-To-Be Lynch.' Derek's voice came from behind her and she just continued to walk on, Derek immediately frowned. 'I'm sorry Pen, you've been bragging on about it for so long and well I thought it was apt.'

'Well you thought wrong Morgan.' She told him bluntly as she fumbled with her keys, she beyond exhausted and she was in no mood for his sarcasm today of all days. She walked in and left the door ajar; she knew he'd follow whatever so she helped with the door.

'Gonna show me the ring?'

'Can't.'

'Why not?'

'No ring to show.' She told as she sat down and his eyes saw the bright white of a bandage, he then saw her posture, her body language looked tired, defeated, broken and he closed the door.

'What's happened to your hand?'

'Nothing.'

'Yeah so white bandages are the new fashion accessory are they? Spilling out from Halloween?' He crouched in front of her and he could tell she'd been crying and that she'd hardly sleep. 'Now, princess, tell me what's a matter?'

'Kevin didn't want to marry me after all.' She said and the tears began to dot her lashes. 'He upped and left, we argued before that, I threw a few things, each one smashing if it couldn't bounce.' Derek's face darkened as she just stared off. 'I told him to leave and got tidying up only for a shard of glass to slice through my hand.' She held her left hand up. 'Nearly 8 hours in A&E with a woman with chronic coughing, a screaming 2 year old and a family of like 7, or 8, running wild, I've hardly slept.' She shrugged like it was no problem, like it was a normal way to spend a work night. 'I'm amazed I got back up after an hour's kip.'

'Let's get you home.'

'I don't want to go home.'

'Pen...'

'Derek, at the moment I'm feeling pretty down, and embarrassed and work is the only thing that's going to keep my mind out of this mess.'

'Baby girl... there's nothing to be embarrassed off.'

She snorted. 'Course not, for months I've been bragging about Kevin popping the question and how I wanted to get married and now, now I'm back at square one.' It was then a tear dropped. There was no way she was going to tell him Kevin was gay, that was the bare bottom of embarrassment. 'I'm never gonna get married so...' She ended it with another nonchalant shrug.

'You need to get laid.' Was all Derek said, it wasn't his first thought, he hadn't been his actually thought but the barrier between thinking and speaking had gone and he had nowhere to run now. So Derek forgot about the whole look before you look theorem and just went right in there. 'By me.'

'Derek...' Penelope said, her puffy eyes just staring at him, she couldn't muster more than his name right now. 'Derek...'

'I've held off for too fucking long Pen, 2 years is too long, I want you, if Lynch doesn't then I'm staking my claim in you. I want you as mine.'

'All this from Kevin Lynch breaking my heart?'

'How about, I'll be your make up sex?' That evoked a laugh out of Penelope, something she had seriously thought wouldn't happen. 'Screw Lynch, wait no wrong wording, Lynch be damned, screw me.'

Penelope laughed again, Derek was after something. 'Being my hero or something?'

'Being your best friend and then after it all, I want a discussion with you about _our_ future... I think we've fallen behind. No more running, I get hard just hearing you on the phone. Do you know how hard it is to hide an errection in jeans?'

'Well... with the tightness you go for you kind of bring it on yourself.'

'So you noticed eh?' He winked and she laughed at him again. 'What time's the pity party starting later and what do I bring?'

'Starts whenever the PJ's are on and the ice cream's out.'

'You go home, I'll bring the ice cream and I'll party with you pitifully.'

'I don't think that's the point of a pity party.'

'Well what before has been anywhere near the norm with us goddess?' He asked her and smirked that award winning Derek Morgan smile. 'I wanna talk to you P; I want you to know some things and I wanna know some things.'

'You wanna know do a lot.' She told him pointedly. 'After I've had some ice cream and loads of other crap though yeah?' He nodded and kissed her forehead before going to the door. 'You're going to tell Hotch aren't you?'

'If you've got a slash in your hand, he's not gonna be happy, I'm not even happy.'

'Fine, but I'll sweet talk the boss man.'

'Like you always do, we're all well and truly wrapped around your little finger.' Derek told her and left her in peace, she just laughed before settling down. Looking at the time she grabbed her purse and a drink, taking the pot of pills out of her bag she got 2 tablets out and downed them with a large gulp of water.

Since Penelope could remember she had been popping those pills daily, twice daily, three times daily, she didn't know anymore, it was part of her routine. An easily hidden part of her daily routine. No one knew about her heart condition, if anything she felt it changed how people viewed her, it'd already hindered her. Suffering from Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, or HCM as her parents had named it, she'd found a lot of things she couldn't do. In high school she'd been a runner, a good one at it, but when she was struck with palpitation and a shortness of breath at simple exercises her parents had taken her to their family doctor. After tests she was put on those pills to help and they had but she was scared to get her fitness to the same level it had been. On one occasion her lack of breath had been so severe she had actually passed out, on another her heart had skipped a couple of beats, and on her scariest occasion her heart had actually stopped beating altogether before being hit back into rhythm but a paramedics fist.

So she took pills and avoided immense exercise, Kevin knew about the pills but not what they were for, and even sometimes during sex if she got breathless, he'd just claimed she was unfit and she'd just wished he knew the truth but she'd just continually agreed with him.

Now she wondered if she were to actually get laid by Derek Morgan, would he want it thick and fast or slow and steady? She knew it wasn't going to be the latter, not with a man that had so much... experience.

The knock at her door made her throw the pills in her bag and turn, she plastered a smile on her face and stood only to lose her footing and stumble. Derek lunged in and caught her and held her up right.

'That says it all.' Hotch said as he crossed his arms over his chest. 'Get her home Morgan.'

'Hotch I want to work.'

'Not when you can hardly stand and your hand, how's that hurting?'

She sighed. 'I'm going.'

'Come on then Baby Girl.'

'Derek stay with her make sure she sleeps.'

'Was the plan.'

'Report back in.' Hotch said and then looked at Penelope. 'If there's ever anything you need to talk about Garcia, just come to me, I'll try and help you out.'

'Thank you Sir.' Hotch shot her a look. 'Thanks Hotch.'

'Better. Lynch never deserved you.' Were his last words as he vacated her office and left Derek to sort Penelope out. Penelope looked at Derek as he picked her bags up and handed her, her purse.

'Sleep and I'll get ice cream in.'

'You're actually the best you know that?' She told him and he smiled at her and shook his head before pulling her out of the office and locking it behind them. Although Derek was a distraction, there was, in the pit of her stomach, the ache that Kevin had left. The feeling that she had tainted him, made him turn like he had and she just sighed, she didn't know how easy she could love again but step on would be telling Derek exactly how she felt and how long she'd felt it.

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_**A/N:**_ Thanks for the reviews so far!

Keep letting me know what you think!! =)


	4. Letting You Know

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

A/n: Short chapter before I head off out!! ENJOY!!

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So Penelope found herself wrapped up in bed no more than an hour later, Derek in living room watching telly, doing as he'd been asked. He received multiple texts from the guys, Hotch's one mainly telling him to be guard dog like, he didn't want to see Penelope back until she was able to stand on her own two feet without swaying. And Derek knew full well he'd do just as he asked.

Penelope hadn't yet fallen asleep, she was just staring at an area on the wall and wondering how downhill her life seemed to be getting. A day ago she was literally living in heaven, she had a fantastic boyfriend, said boyfriend made her feel physically sick, she had the best, best friend ever and a family she wouldn't change for the world. Now she was single, her heartbroken, and she felt like she was to blame.

And then as her thoughts began to consume her, the bed dipped and Derek's arms wrapped around her and he pulled her close, plying her delicate skin with equally delicate kisses, smothering her tenderly with them.

'You should be sleeping.' He said stated gently. 'I could hear your thoughts over there on your couch.'

'Sorry.' She said apologetically.

'Nothing to be sorry for Baby Girl, I just want to know what's playing on your mind. I need you to get some sleep but you're obviously thinking too much into things.'

'I can't believe it's over.'

'Maybe it's for the best.' Derek told her softly, nuzzling into her hair to inhale her sweet scent of vanilla and strawberries. 'I mean, you're obviously too much woman.'

'Or not enough.' Penelope snorted tiredly, she could tweak the truth to her liking, Derek didn't need the whole truth, not until she was done processing it. 'He's been seeing someone else.'

'Oh P...'

'That's where he went, to her, away from me.' She said as the tears began their hurtful routine and built up to spill out. 'Right under my nose and I didn't see it, I feel like such a fool.'

'Hey, this just shows how much Lynch doesn't deserve you.' Derek told her and ran a hand over her arm in a bid for comfort. 'I mean, if he did, he'd be here loving you.'

'How do I trust my heart with another man?' She asked hoping he'd have an answer. 'I mean, I know what I want, what I've wanted but I don't know how I'm going to keep it together if it gets thrown back at me.'

'What do you Baby Girl?' He asked her, she bit her lip. 'C'mon, tell me Baby Girl.'

'I want you, no one else, not Kevin Lynch, not Jason Clark Battle, I'm past both of them, I need you.' She told him doubtful and Derek's smile grew larger and larger as the words set in.

'I love you Penelope Garcia, with the whole of my heart, my soul, my everything and I'm going to make sure that one day you're happy.'

'I'm happy right here with you.' She said and turned in his arms.

'I know you are but I want you to have that life you want, marriage, kids, house, big tree in the garden, happiness for life.'

'You can't promise me that.'

'I can and I certainly will sweet thing.' He told her and kissed her, their first real kiss, deep and passionate, longed for and absolutely perfect. 'That's what I want, my daily dose of sugar.'

Penelope giggled. 'I can keep that going everyday.'

'Good.' He said and kissed her lips gently. 'Now get some sleep beautiful.' He told her and soon sleep took her, for hours after Derek just lay there watching her sleep, he couldn't believe he had this woman at last. She was his, she was now his and he was going to make it official. As he watched her breath, twitch, mumble, live in her land of dreams he couldn't help but smile, a couple of times he heard his name and then things darkened and her face contorted in pain before realising, his name slipped between her lips and a smile plied her lips before she settled and slept soundly.


	5. Rearing Of Ugliness

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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It'd been over 5 months since the Kevin Lynch disaster of her life and Penelope had found herself moving on, she was happy again, he was hers and the feeling in the pit of her stomach had dispersed and she was ready for whatever Derek threw at her.

Derek couldn't have been happier. In cases he was more focused, he was more into getting the details out so he could get home and be with Penelope quicker than ever. Him and Penelope were taking things slowly, he wanted her over Kevin entirely before he progressed things and he knew that time was looming ever closer.

The idea made him almost giddy, excited to claim Penelope Garcia as his. His next port of call was to ask her to move in but he wasn't going to rush her, he wanted this transition to go smoothly and he wanted her all to him even if it took him a lifetime, he'd wait.

However, he was left to mull with his thoughts, after a series of short cases that lasted at the most a couple of days they were on the biggest case of the month. So far they'd been here 5 days and they were nowhere near an end. Far from it really.

Penelope had been sitting in her office, she was typing at her usual sonic speed trying to divulge what she could and she was determined to get the team a step or 2 ahead of where they were right now. So she held her breath and got on with her duties. After a prolonged time with her baited breath she breathed out and found herself breathless. Not her normal breathless she was when she concentrated, this was severe but she breathed in through her nose, out through her mouth until she'd recovered. Then she dialled the team and got on with her work. This time she'd gotten them 3 steps ahead and she couldn't help but smile as they thanked her and they sounded somewhat freer.

She ploughed on through her work, while they ploughed through theirs and the end seemed to loom closer than ever. It only took them another 2 days to crack it and be able to head home. So with orders, Penelope was closing up for the night, collecting her things together, closing down her computers and getting ready to head home when she smelt a familiar smell. Turning around she saw the one person she nearly loathed and she could've sworn a familiar pulling out of her heart occurred.

Kevin stood in her doorway, silhouetted by the light from the corridor, a sheepish grin on his lips. 'Hey Penelope.'

'What are you doing here?' She shot back; she was far too tired for this. She was going to go home, get a quick nap in before being back in work to meet the guys and go out for a relaxing drink and a chat. Not come face to face with Kevin Lynch. If she had to admit it, he had a different flare about and as much as she didn't want to have homophobic thoughts, all she could think was that he screamed GAY, from head to toe.

'I wanted to come and apologise.' He said stepping, his grin loosening slightly. 'I really didn't want to blurt it out like I did that night but I did and I need to apologise for it.' Penelope crossed her arms over her chest and just watched him, she couldn't find words. 'I was in love with you, still am to a point but with Luke, it's different. He's my age, he's my better half. I just want you to know that'll I'll always love you Penelope, forever and with that I want to see you happy and I'll continually look out for you even if it means you don't listen. I'll always have your back.'

'What is this about Kevin?'

'Morgan.' Penelope's arms tensed around her and she just stared at him. 'He's a player, always was, always will be, he's destined for a bachelor life forever. I don't want you to follow your dreams of being with him to end up heartbroken.'

'Like you left me you mean?'

'Penny...' Kevin warned her.

'It's Penelope.' Penelope corrected him quickly. 'For your information, Morgan isn't a player, Morgan isn't going to break my heart and Morgan isn't going to be a bachelor forever.'

'You went there.' Kevin stated, again the feeling arose in him and he didn't know why he was being angered by it all, he'd left Penelope high and dry, gone off without her but yet as he stood here with this beautiful curvaceous woman, he knew full well he would always love her, he shared something with her and he had broken it and in turn broken her.

'It's none of your business Kevin.'

'Well don't come running to me when he breaks your heart and it's irreparable.' With that Kevin left the office with a huge amount of unwarranted drama and Penelope sunk into her seat.

As Penelope sat there her heart hammered in its boned cage and she felt slightly light headed, when she adhered to her surroundings she was noticed she noticed that shockingly she'd been there nearly an hour. Her thoughts were immense. She kept thinking about how delicate Derek was, how kind he was to her, how pleased he was to see her naked form, how he groaned to have it close to him and she wondered just how long it'd be until she was dropped for the next floozy.

She shook her head, that idea was sickening, this was Derek, the man that had laid on the bed with her the day after Kevin had smashed her idea of happiness and made her sleep, this was the man that had since she could remember graced her life with pure happiness since her parents had died, this was the man that had been her best friend since their first meeting and she wasn't about to let that go, she was going to hold onto him with all her mite, she was going to dig her nails in and let him know how she wanted him, how she needed him and how she'd strive to keep him.

Sucking in a deep breath she stood up, grabbed her things and left her office, as she went into the parking garage she saw the team turn up, she smiled gratefully but tiredly, the drawn out case was over and as they each got out with their own exhaustion playing on their features she knew they knew it too. The wait was on for the next one to creep up because at the end of the day evil didn't lie still for long.

She threw her things into Esther and then stood at the front of her car as Derek slung his bag over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of her, his mouth curled into a big grin and he rushed towards to her, taking her in his arms to feel her close to his body, get some instalment that life was still there and that the Earth was still spinning fine, they'd gotten out alive once again.

'You look tired.' Penelope observed worried.

'Could say the same about you too Baby Girl.' He told her in response and she knew she wasn't winning this side of it all so she relented and then Derek gave in and kissed her, their kisses were like their first, with all those elements in it but getting ever stronger, ever better. 'I've missed you so much.'

'I could say the thing.' She told him and then reached up and kissed him back. 'C'mon Handsome, let's get you to yours and we can have a sleep.'

'Yeah, drinks are on hold, we all want sleep.'

'Sounds a good plan to me.'

'Well then pretty lady, bed it is.' He said and waited for her to get into Esther before he got into his SUV and drove after her, meeting her at his, he took her inside and did as he wanted. He once again fell asleep with his baby girl in his arms, the safest place that Derek Morgan could be in the world.

Only for an hour later the bombardment of texts started arriving to Penelope's phone.


	6. Good, Bad and The Downright Messy

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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'No he left me Derek, left me to my own devices and my own device was moving on, moving forward with you.'

'Well then you tell me why the hell he's sending you texts, ringing you night and day, relying on you!' Derek said, he'd just about had enough of it. 'And what makes it even more suspect is you won't let me have my say, won't let me tell him to jog on.'

'That's because Kevin Lynch isn't your problem, he is mine, and I won't have you be dragged into a matter I can settle myself.' She told him and her phone rang off, and both of them groaned annoyed, Penelope opened the phone and snapped it shut. 'You cannot get angry with me because of him.'

'I can't? I think I can.' Derek said as he stepped forward. 'It's been nearly 6months with the geek, you're a week away from half a year without that man's love, half a year with my love and he's phoning and texting you and I can't get angry?' He picked up the phone. 'Well I'm sorry if _Penny, I love you, let me be all yours again_, affects me.' Derek said as he scrolled through the phone. 'Or_, I know you love me, you're just with that meat head to make me jealous, now come home, I'm jealous_.' Penelope just watched as he continued to throw each and everyone in her face and it was a side of Derek she'd never seen, one full of jealous hatred. 'I don't like this Pen!'

'What and I'm lapping it up am I?' She said and grabbed her phone from his hand and her purse and her keys. 'Call me when you've cooled down some, I'm going to sort this mess out.' He didn't object as his front door slammed shut. The one thing he hated most was when Penelope's drive for independence clashed with his drive for independence, clearly illustrated in front of him.

Penelope got into her car with the tears streaking her face and she drove to Kevin's, got out and near enough smacked the door rather than knocked, when he answered his smile grew. 'Penny.'

'Kevin, count this as your final warning or I will not be heard responsible for my actions.' She said pointing her finger at him. 'Leave me hell alone. I don't love you, I love Derek and there is no way you're ruining this for me.' She then turned but stopped. 'Don't underestimate me.' Were her last words as she headed back to her car, aggression gathering her, it was a Sunday night and she should've been spending it chilled out in Derek's front room, telly on, Clooney by their feet but this week, she was heading home alone and Derek was still in the same state.

Come Monday she'd refused all his calls, she'd just taken herself to bed and hoped that everything was some nasty nightmare and nothing more, nothing less. She snuck into her office and got to work, she was actually an emotional wreck, she could've quite easily of cried at how her and Derek had been ripping one another's heads off at the slightest things. She thought that love was supposed to be bliss with a couple of troubles in and there but not like this.

'Gonna ignore me all day?' Derek's voice came from the door, the tone wary and Penelope didn't look up. 'I take that as a yes.'

'I'm sorry okay.' Penelope told him in a mumble. 'I talked to Kevin, I threatened him, let's just lay this to rest.' It was as he went to accept that her phone danced across the table and Derek grabbed it quickly.

Derek's face darkened somewhat. 'Thanks for last night, it was a great reminder.' Derek read the text aloud and Penelope's mouth dropped, her eyes blurred, her head whizzed. 'So much for it being over eh?'

'Derek...' She began but he cut her off.

'You know what, if you can't delete his number and forget about him then I can't keep this going. He broke your heart Pen but you've just let him in.'

'What difference is deleting his number gonna do? It's my bureau cell I can't even change my number! You know I would if I could.' It was then she broke down completely but rejected Derek's effort of comfort. 'I thought you trusted me.'

'I do.'

'Well it doesn't feel like it right now Derek, I've tried to get rid of Kevin, nothing you say or I say is going to work. I can't do much more than that.'

'I'm sorry.' Derek said as finally Penelope got her say. 'Just let me have one say and I'll leave it and we'll take another route. Please.'

'Fine.' She gave in and allowed him to hold her again, he kissed her before leaving her office, he waltzed straight to Kevin's station and just stood and watched him work.

'What can I do for you Agent...' He looked up and gawped.

'Outside, now.' Derek said and Kevin listened, he wasn't that stupid. Derek followed the sheepishly male downstairs and then he laid into him.

'I don't know what you're problem is but you leave Penelope alone, she wants nothing to do with you.'

'Not what she said last night.'

Derek shook his head; he knew Kevin was getting into his head. 'Just leave her alone, she doesn't need your shit.' Derek just left and went inside and got on with his work the best he could do. The next thing he knows a case is pulling them back out of the door and he had to pay Penelope a flyby visit.

'I love you remember that.' Derek told her and saw her phone flashing, he just reached down and looked. 'The arsehole doesn't get the idea eh?'

'I guess not.' She shrugged and Derek read the top one.

_Team's away, make up sex again Penny? Me, you tonight, like on Sunday._

'Ignore it, I'm not doing anything with him.'

'Right, I'll call you later.' He said and kissed her cheek, not her lips, and Penelope was left standing there, shocked, phone in hand, an empty heart.

Derek's call never came, nor did he answer hers and she gave up, professionalism it was and then come Saturday the team were coming home and Derek called her but she was in the bath and missed it so sat and listened to the voicemail.

'Baby Girl, I'm cooled now, tomorrow, date, you, me, and whole lot of loving. I want to ask you something and I want to make up for my behaviour it was unfair and uncalled for and I'm sorry. I love you, remember that for forever. Night Pen.'

She smiled and found sleep easy for once, come the time she woke up with Derek in her bed, she snuggled and just laid there content with the feel of him.

'Morning Precious.' Derek said kissing her tenderly, apologetically. 'What's the time?'

Penelope looked at the time and groaned. 'We've nearly slept our Sunday away.' She said quietly. 'It's coming up 4.'

'In the afternoon?!' She nodded back and snuggled in closer. 'I'm really sorry.'

'Me too, I want to get a restraining order on him. He's ruining my life and I've not done anything to him.' She said and then sat up. 'He's ruining us.'

'We'll get over it.' He told her and she truly believed him. 'Right go get ready, I'm gonna head home, be ready by 6, don't eat much, we're having us some fun.'

Penelope smiled as he left her and then went to get ready. When the clock struck 6 she was ready, and so was Derek as his knock came on the door. She opened the door and smiled impishly, Derek was definitely a fox. 'Well look at you, someone put some Hot Stuff on my door.'

He laughed. 'I'm not going to get started on you, or I will end up taking you to bed and never getting out of this place.'

Penelope laughed this time, she'd quite happily stick at home with him, let him feed her hunger that way. 'Come on the Handsome.' She said and followed him, he drove them to a restaurant, one she knew was pricey but Derek didn't have a qualm about it, he took her in and wined and dined her. She could never have been happier and as dessert was served he leant forward.

'What would you say if I asked you to move in with me?'

'I'd ask if you were definitely sure, that this is what you wanted.'

'And what if I told you that I was definitely sure that I wanted you to live with me?'

She bit her lip and then broke into a wide smile. 'I'd say yes over again.'

'Really?' He questioned.

'Yes, yes, yes, yes ,yes...'

'Good, we'll start packing tomorrow after work.' He told her and she shot him a look. 'I want us to move passed Kevin, get on with life, our life together because I love you Pen, I want the rest of my life with you and so be it, I'm going to get it.' Penelope blinked the tears away and she felt herself continually doing so as they left and was taken to the bar she couldn't help but feel the happiest she'd ever been. 'Go in, get us a table and drinks and I'll park up.'

'Sure thing Handsome.' She said and kissed him before going into the bar. As she waited by the bar, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around smiling. 'You were quick.' She said and then Kevin kissed her, held her tighter than he should and wouldn't let her go, wouldn't stop and she opened her eyes and saw Derek, she stared into his eyes and she couldn't do a thing, she was like a deer stuck in head lights and she then had to watch the look Derek shot her before he left. Finally mustering the courage she pushed Kevin off and slapped him before running after Derek, her eyes streaming already.

When she found him, anger was the only visible emotion on him and for once Penelope was admittedly scared of Derek Morgan because she knew she was about to feel the wrath of him.


	7. Biggest Defeat

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

A/N: Thanks to Emzypemzy for assuring me this chapter works!

Big ole dose of angst here! Lemme know what you think =)

* * *

Derek was right by his SUV when Penelope caught sight of him, his body language was a mix of hurt and despondent and his fists were clenched, she took her heels off and ran towards him. 'Derek!' She yelled as she got closer to him, all the stress was wrecking havoc on her entirely now, she was immediately out of breath and her eyes wouldn't clear of their tears. 'Derek please!'

'Fuck off Garcia.' He said aggressively and unlocked his door.

She flinched but recovered. 'No, please Derek that wasn't what it looked like.'

'Wasn't what it looked like? You've got to be kidding me right?' He said and she knew to brace herself for what was next. 'You were kissing him in the middle of that place right in plain view.'

'But I wasn't! He was kissing me, I wasn't helping the kiss.'

'But you weren't stopping it either.' He said and he laughed as the tears caught in his throat. 'I thought you were different Penelope, I thought that when you said you loved someone then you really did mean it, that it didn't mean you were going to see your ex behind my back.' He didn't look at Penelope as he spoke, he hurt too much. 'I should've seen it, all the texts, the phone calls, not letting me talk to him. I'm not playing the mug anymore Penelope. If anyone you're the mug.'

'Derek... you don't mean that.'

'You know what, no, I do, because I picked you up after he broke you and I'm not going to be there when he does it again, I'm not. I can't.' He told her and the aggression still exuded him too much. 'You can pick yourself up after this one because I'm not.'

'Derek, really think about this. Why would I do that to you? Why would I tell you that when I'm with you I'm at my happiest, that when you tell me you love me I feel alive. Why would I go back to the man that broke my heart?'

'Because he's obviously giving you something I'm not.'

'Don't be ridiculous!' Penelope told him and she was startled at her own tone of voice. 'You think I'd just do that? That I'm that shallow.'

'Well from the look of it you did. I mean Battle's another event, you were using him to prove something me, so what are you using Lynch to prove? I've given you everything I have Penelope! I've given you my love, my trust, my family and you've just thrown it back at me and Christ I wanted you to move in with me. Well count that out of the picture and our friendship. Count that as gone.'

'You can't be serious.' She said as her heart broke into a million pieces. 'I know you're lashing out right now Derek but please, don't do this. Please you need to believe me, let me tell you everything. Let us just talk it out.'

'No!' Derek shouted at her. 'I hope he loves you because from this point I don't care anymore.'

'You do, you're lying.' Derek approached her and pulled her out the way of his car. 'Derek, get off me, you're hurting me.' She said as she tried to get free. 'Derek!' She said as his grasp didn't cease, and then he pushed her slightly. 'Don't do this. You know this is wrong.'

'Don't tell me what's right and wrong.'

'Don't you see it! He wanted this! He wanted you to hate me!' She told him and she felt her heart skip a few beats in its rhythm, she put her hand to her chest as the palpitations began and she knew the stress of everything wasn't going to do her any good. She'd known from the beginning that too much stress was only going to have a greater consequence and she knew it was coming.

'Well he ruined us Penelope! Well and truly fucked up what bit of happiness I had! And you helped him. Now leave me the fuck alone, at work we're nothing but colleagues, you don't call me a nickname again, you don't flirt, you don't joke with me, you don't even talk to me like I'm anything but an agent on the team. Got it.'

'Derek...'

'Do you understand Garcia?' He asked again and Penelope could swear his eyes were on fire, and that he was breaking.

Penelope just let the tears freely flow, this was it, their break up, their hurt, their pain, their end all laid out in a car park. 'I get it Morgan.' She whispered and then Derek left her standing there and got into his SUV.

The thing was Derek regretted every word he had said there, he was saying it out of spite, out of hurt, out of pain but the thing was there was a niggling bit in him that knew it was all Kevin's fault and that Penelope was just as much a victim in this but the thing he couldn't get his head around was how laid back Penelope had been and how she hadn't attempted to push him of the moment he did it.

And his heart did break as he saw Penelope sob from the sidelines, her hand on the car next to her, steadying her, as he just drove away from her, leaving her there, alone, in the cold, and he did nothing to go back and make things right. He was far too broken for that.

As Derek's SUV disappeared, Penelope walked slowly towards the bar, she needed a cab and as she got closer she saw Kevin standing there with a smug grin on his face. 'Need a lift home?'

'Not from you I don't.' She told him and again her heart skipped a beat, her heart clenched fiercely in her chest. 'You've just ruined my life, I hate you Kevin.'

'You'll always love me.'

'Not after this, not after everything.'

'I want you back.'

'Well you gonna have trouble.' She told him and walked away, she knew what she had to do now, she was not losing Derek Morgan because of Kevin, she had too much trust in Derek for that to be just gone, she had all her faith in Derek and she knew that this was not irrecoverable from, they could bounce back, he just needed to believe her first.


	8. Died Right In My Arms

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

A/N: Think prologue and you'll get the aftermath here!! =)

* * *

Derek stood back and watched the medics take over from him, the woman he loved was dead, she had actually stopped breathing in his arms, and then it all hit home.

'She's got a heart condition. I don't know what one; she said she was out of her tablets.' Derek frantically told them and then the medic sat back. 'You can't stop!' He yelled and then he watched the male's fist connect with Penelope's chest hard and Penelope gasped for air, coughing and choking as she tried to gather oxygen into her lungs, her eyes crying more tears, his eyes crying more.

'Miss, can you tell me what heart condition you have please?'

'HCM.' Was all she could muster in her drawn in drags of air.

'How long have you had it?'

'16 years.'

'Okay well I'm going to give you something to help with your breathing and then we'll get you to the hospital.' He said and set up an IV and then injected her with a clear liquid, an oxygen mask placed over her face, Derek just watched as Penelope closed her eyes, the tears still coming. It was in that moment of despair that he got on the floor next to her, comforting her and she opened her eyes and stared into his.

'I believe you.' He said tearfully, his voice thick with tears, and she could tell he was shaking. 'I'm so sorry Baby Girl.' He told her and leant down and kissed her forehead. Penelope remained quiet, contemplating if they could ever get over this. 'Pen?'

'Kevin's gay.' Was all she whispered as her breathing loosened some and Derek's eyes widened as guilt began to consume him. He just took Pen's hand in his and held onto it, only letting it go as the paramedics put her on the stretcher and then grabbing it again.

Once on the way to the hospital, he just sat and watched her, she was too quiet, too broken and he hated that he'd contributed making her like it. He listened to her give her details to the paramedic and then just leant in, making her his main priority.

'Right, Penelope, how are you feeling now?' The paramedic asked her.

'Tired.' She responded, she hadn't felt this type of tired for years.

'Have you had one of these types of attacks before?' Penelope nodded and closed her eyes; her heart was still thumping hard in her chest. 'Do you remember when?'

'When I was 17.'

'What caused it?'

'Running.' She saw the paramedic look confused. 'I used to do running, like athletic running but had to give up after this happened.'

'Okay, so immense exercise makes you tired and breathless?' Penelope nodded, she just wanted to sleep. 'Right well the doctor will probably just prescribe you new tablets and monitor you over night but apart from that you should be okay.' He said as he wrote into the chart. 'You're going to need as less stress as you can possibly get too.'

When they got to the hospital, Derek remained stuck by her side, and then finally there was a gap where it was just him and her alone. 'Pen...'

'You don't need to be here Derek.' She said as she looked away, she'd just be caught out in a lie, and to top it all, they'd both argued. 'You can go home.'

'I'm not leaving my Baby Girl alone.'

'I thought I wasn't your Baby Girl anymore.' She asked him and burst into tears, she couldn't handle this right now, she wanted Derek to take everything back but her mind was replaying every hurtful thing that was said and done.

'I was angry and hurt and...' Derek couldn't continue as the moment Penelope's heart stopped beating happened in his mind all over again. 'You died in my arms.' Penelope's head shot around to look at him. 'If we hadn't have fought, you wouldn't be here.'

'I lied to you.'

'It doesn't matter.'

'It does.' Penelope told him and took his hand this time, squeezing it tightly. 'It matters to me that you need to know the truth. You deserved the whole truth.' She went to continue but the doctor came in.

'Miss Garcia?' Penelope nodded. 'Right I've just finished looking at your notes and it seems you've had Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy since you were 16, is that right?'

'Yeah it is.'

'Well the ECG we've done shows that there is an abnormality.' He saw Penelope sit up slightly. 'You're blood pressures up, you're pulse is irregular and you're still getting chest pains.'

'So won't that just go?'

'It doesn't appear to be the after effects, I'm going to need to schedule an investigative operation to see if any of the left ventricles are affecting blood flow, the fact that you had a sudden cardiac arrest shows that there must be a restriction into the aorta.' He saw Penelope tense up, a scared look gather. 'We'll do it with local anaesthetic to numb the area and then a catheter will be inserted into your heart and we'll x-ray to see what's causing the problem.'

'I'm going to be awake for it?'

'You are, but to lessen the stress on you, we can allow you to have a family member in with you. I'm going to see when we can get you fitted in; we really can't delay with heart conditions.' He said and smiled before leaving, he'd tried not to be too frightening but there was no easy way to put it and Penelope was already understandably stressing.

Penelope's head was whizzing and she was still feeling broken but she turned to Derek and surprised herself. 'Please stay with me.' She told him, her voice small, and he could see she was trying to keep calm about all of this.

'Anything you need Baby Girl.' Derek told her a leant in. 'I know saying that I want to take everything back isn't going to help, it's said and done and I've hurt you but please know I only said those things because I was jealous that I was losing you again. I wanted to push you away so you didn't hurt me.' Penelope nodded and she knew she had to tell him the whole truth. 'What's up Princess?'

'I should've told you about this, about what's wrong with me but I kept taking my tablets and I was fine and the last week, the whole Kevin thing and us arguing nonstop, I forgot I needed them and last night everything got me and I don't know, I fell asleep in my car and...'

'Shh, calm down Baby Girl.' He told her as she got agitated. 'I understand. I'm guessing you didn't tell us because you know that everyone would treat you differently?'

'They did when I first found out and I didn't want you lot to do the same.'

'Well, we're not. This doesn't change who you are but Kevin is not going to know what hit him. I don't want you to worry about him Pen; he's not your problem. He wanted us to split up and, although, he nearly did, he lost, and I'm moving you in with me as soon as we've got you out of the hospital.'

'Derek... you don't want to do this.'

'Pen, you died in my arms, that's the closest I've come to losing someone I love since my dad, and even him it was from across a shop. I had you in my arms and you stopped breathing and in that moment I knew what I had to do. I had to make it right because I honestly can't live without you and I'm going to regret this day for the rest of my life.'

'Don't.' She told him and he looked at her, a hand on her face. 'Don't regret it, I wanted you to take it all back and believe me.'

'I do believe you.'

'Kevin never left me for a woman; he left me for a man, that's why I could never love him.' She said and cried. 'How embarrassing is that? I'm not much of a woman if I turned him gay.'

'I know how much woman you are Baby, and you're too much woman for me sometimes.' He told her and kissed her tentatively. 'I'm helping you through this.'

She nodded and closed her eyes. 'I've researched my condition, this helps make the assessment for whether or not surgery is needed.'

'One day at a time Pen, we'll take it step by step, no worrying about the future; we'll take it as it comes.'

'Thank you.'

'No thanks needed, you deserve the best and I've been nothing near that.'

She shook her head at him. 'Not true, I loved you more after that argument and that hurt more than losing you.'

* * *

A/N: There's what happened! Couldn't think I'd let her die could you?!

Lemme know what you think!!


	9. Reassurances

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Derek paced the corridor only hours later, he wasn't leaving Penelope alone in the hospital with this all building up, it was a Monday, and he was supposed to be in work by now but he knew that once Hotch got over an outburst he'd settle before listening to the whole excuse.

'Hotchner.' Derek knew from the tone of voice something had happened at work.

'Hotch; I'm sorry I'm not in.'

'And Penelope? Going to apologise for her too or is she going to actually grace me with her own excuse?'

'Hotch... listen man...'

'Strauss is all over us like a rash today and the fact that you and Penelope aren't in has done nothing but made matters a hell of a lot worse for us.'

'Hotch, just shut up and listen!' Derek blew, he wasn't in the mood to hear about Strauss, or problems at work, Penelope was his worry, he's only worry. Until she started to get better then would he worry about work.

'What is Morgan?'

'I'm at the hospital.'

'Hospital?' Hotch repeated. 'Why would you be there?'

'Because Penelope died last night, she had a cardiac arrest at mine about 2:30 this morning and now she's in the hospital really ill.'

'She died?'

'I started CPR and paramedics arrived and revived her. Listen Hotch, she won't be in work for a while. She's got a heart condition that she must have deleted or not put on her records and well, let's just say it's got a hell of a lot worse.'

'Why would she lie?'

'Because she's experienced how people react to her having it.'

'Fair enough.' Derek picked up his boss' guilty tone. 'Is she going to be okay?'

'I don't know, the doctor wants her to have some kind of surgery later to see what caused her to collapse and go into cardiac arrest and then go from there.' Derek told him and the worry now consumed him more so. 'Hotch I can't leave her.'

'I don't expect you to, I'm gonna get Dave and speak to Strauss. Then I'm gonna come by, I want a whole medical run down.'

'Okay.'

'Derek, don't tell Penelope, let's not let her worry. Work stays in work, we'll stop by later to check in. Just... I'm sorry; I shouldn't have jumped down your throat like that Morgan.'

'It's okay man, I understand, and Pen, you know, she's strong, we can get through this.' Derek looked up to see the doctor coming back down the corridor. 'I'm gonna shoot, doc's just coming back.'

'Keep me updated.'

Derek shut the phone off and ran towards Penelope's room and straight in after the doctor, he went directly to Penelope's side as the doctor spoke. 'We've got you scheduled in for 1 this afternoon, is there anyone in particular you want with you?'

'Derek.' Penelope responded and Derek felt how sweaty her palms were.

'Are you family?'

'Fiancé.' Was all Derek said and the doctor looked at him almost sideways, like he was missing something, Derek pulled out a ring from his back pocket.

'Okay, well that's fine.' He said as he put the chart down. 'We'll give you a mild sedative to make you relaxed, and then we'll get you into the operating room and laid down. The procedure should only take about an hour and we'll make you as comfortable as possible.' He saw Penelope nod and gulp deeply. 'We'll make a small incision in your groin and feed a catheter into your femoral artery, this will be fed into your heart and we'll inject a dye to see what obstructions, if any, there are.' He saw Penelope trying to relax. 'It all sounds daunting but really you won't feel anything but a slight pressure. Once you're back in recovery, you'll be needing to stay laying down to reduce risks of minor bleeds and we can give you something to help you sleep but this will help us find out what caused you to suffer a cardiac arrest.'

'If I'd kept my tablets going would this have happened?'

'There's no way of telling until we've done this. Maybe it might have prolonged the amount of time until it occurred or it might have done nothing. Have you suffered any emotional trauma or immense stress lately?'

'We argued before it happened and I've been having some trouble with someone.'

'How has it been making you feel?'

'Exhausted, I've had trouble catching my breath, been lightheaded.'

'All common symptoms of HCM, but if you're tablets haven't been dealing with it, then it could show a problem. Right, I'll get a nurse to come and keep an eye on you STATs and I'll see you about 12:30.' He then left the pair of them alone.

'Have you spoken to Hotch?'

'I have.'

'How angry is he? I mean you should be in work, heck so should I.'

'He understands, so much so he's taking Rossi to Strauss and coming here after work.'

'No, he doesn't need to, not with Jack.'

'You need to keep it calm Baby Girl.' Derek told her and realised he still had the ring in his hand. 'I've kept this on me ever since Lynch dropped you.' He told her, in a mere bid to change her mind and make her think of something different. 'I didn't want to rush you but I didn't want to lose you either. I've only just gotten you, I can't lose you now.'

'Derek... the whole thing with Kevin...'

'A horrible nightmare and trust me, he isn't getting away lightly. I'm having my say in it all because as far as I'm concerned he played a hand in having you end up here.' Derek ran a hand over Penelope's face. 'I love you so much, I hope you know that.'

'I do.' Penelope said tearfully, she did know how much he loved her because she felt exactly the same. She'd rather push him away and continue to love him, than stay close to ruin it all. That was why she backed down so easily in the car park; she wanted him as distant from her so that they could find one another once the dust had settled. 'I don't want you to be with me because of what happened.'

'Like I told you, you died in my arms P; I'm never going to forget how that felt, the grief that literally swallowed my heart as your heart stopped beating. I hated myself in that moment, that I let you go and our last words left you feeling like I didn't love you. Even though you were sobbing at me in that car park I just couldn't go back to you.'

'You felt betrayed?'

'Yeah I guess I did, like you did with Kevin?' Penelope nodded sadly and Derek wiped a tear from her eye. 'What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. A beautiful blonde always tells me that, said beautiful blonde should never have been doubted really.'


	10. Family Is Just That: Family

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Later that day, Penelope was sleeping off multiple narcotics and Derek was waiting on the team to arrive. He'd stuck in there the whole way though and even if Penelope didn't notice it he was petrified of what was happening with her. Scared of losing her one way or another.

As he waited by the entrance the events that had occurred earlier replayed for him and he hated it, hated how scared she had to be, hated how on top and in check of her every emotion she had to be to stay calm when her eyes were screaming for him to take her elsewhere.

'Hey Derek.' Rossi's voice came and Derek snapped his head up and smiled but it was a proper smile, it was empty. 'Everything okay?'

'Things could be so much better.'

'How is she?' Hotch asked, he was still feeling guilty; he should've known that the pair of them would've had good reason to not be in.

'She's sleeping.' He said and started to lead them towards the elevator. 'There's a problem with one of the left ventricles, its thinning and stress has worsened it and caused her to collapse and...' He didn't finish as Hotch's hand slapped on his shoulder in aid of comforting him. 'Erm...' He tried to gather himself back up. 'She's gotta have surgery to sort it out.'

'Surgery? Is it that bad?'

'The doctor doesn't want to run the risk of it happening again, I mean her heart stopping.' They made it to the floor and again Derek led the way up the corridor. 'She's going to need ages off Hotch.'

'We'll sort it out.'

'And she's going to need someone to care for her 24/7 for like 6 weeks.' Derek told them, feeling like he needed to run all of this off at them or else he'd forget it.

'We'll sort it out as and when.' Hotch told him with genuine understanding. 'Derek, when was the last time you slept?'

'I'm okay.'

'That's not what I asked.' Hotch told him firmly. 'When was the last time you slept or had any rest at all?'

'Not since about 2 this morning.'

'Well take a seat and I'll go into Penelope.' Derek went to object and Hotch shot him a look and he nodded and sat down on one of the chairs outside Penelope's room. Hotch just straightened up and went into the room, at first he froze, Penelope looked ill, she was hooked up to a heart monitor, oxygen and an IV. He took a seat and as he settled Penelope woke up and looked at him, she then muffled a groan as she knew the shit had officially hit the fan. 'Don't make that noise; I'm not here to lecture you.'

'Where's the usual boss man demeanour gone?'

'Left him at work, my friend's in the hospital and doesn't need the added stress.' He told her and relaxed into the chair. 'So how you feeling?'

'Like someone just cut into the top of leg and shoved a tube into one my arteries.'

'You were always the one to be precise.'

'Precisions unnecessary here.' She said as she tried to relax. 'How's Derek coping?'

'I've made him take a break.'

'Thanks.'

'No thanks necessary. Need anything?'

'I don't know.' Penelope said and stared off, everything was catching her up now. 'Did he tell you I died in his arms?'

'Yeah, he's pretty shaken up by it all.'

'This isn't supposed to happen.' Penelope said as she thought of everything Derek must be going through, everything they all must be going through. 'You shouldn't have to be here, I need to get out of here.' Penelope said as she pushed herself up and a pain shot through her leg.

'Penelope lay back down.'

'No, I can't be dealing with you sitting through this all.' She said as she pushed through the pain and got angry with all the wires keeping her down.

'Penelope I won't tell you again, you don't get a say so lay back down now!'

'No! I can't deal with the pity looks, the sympathy vote! I can't do it!' She said and broke down into his arm, he felt her shake and he just stayed there cradling her, something that was alien to him, but right at that moment as one of his family member's needed him, and he didn't want to let go.

'What's wrong?' Derek said coming in alert and worried, he stood and saw the sight in front of him. 'Pen, you need to lay back down.' He said as he remembered the doctor's advice.

'I don't want to be here.' She said as she fell back against the pillows and cried again. Derek rested on the side of the bed and tried to sort all the wires out again. He knew this was coming; he was waiting for the break, the realisation of what had rolled out only earlier that day.

'I know this is all scary but we're not here because we pity you, we're here because in more ways than one we're family and families stick together through thick and thin.'

'You have families.'

'Yeah and you're part of it whether you wanna admit it or not Baby Girl. Look at your finger, that ring signifies that I'm your family. That one day we're gonna expand that family and have our own to add to it. That ring shows you that whatever happens from here on out I'm not leaving, not for no one.' Penelope calmed at Derek's words, at his attitude, his attention. 'Now don't you dare try to push any of us away because it's not going to happen.'

'I just don't want this to stop your lives.'

'Penelope Garcia, have you not been listening to a thing I've been saying since I got you back? Everything that happened made me realise that if there's one thing that I want more in the world, it's you. Lynch failed and this condition of yours is going to lose as well. You're going to get better and get over it and we're going to get you out of here and healthy. Then I'm going to get your beautiful body down an aisle in a Church and marry you and then I'm going to make so many babies with you that we're going to be overloaded.' Penelope laughed at him, a few remaining tears feel as she began to cheer up. 'Now will you stop the independency crap and listen to me?'

'Yeah I will Handsome.'

'Good because if you look at everyone in this room then you'd know that we're in it all the way. Not to offer pity, or sympathy, or make you feel like you're doing us out of something but because we're going to be around to make you feel better, make you happy, bring back that smile when everything's getting too much for you.' Penelope smiled again. 'Just like that Princess.'

Penelope laid there, she really couldn't believe that her and Derek seemed so much closer after their argument, the words that were made to be harmful and damaging really brought them closer, made them see what they really wanted, made them see how much they'd regret a life without the other.

At the end of the day, if anyone in the world was going to be the piece that fulfilled Penelope, it was Derek and it worked vice versa. He was made so that he hurt her most but loved her more.

And however they looked at it, that argument had really broken her heart. Now they had to mend it and they'd only achieve that together.


	11. Dreaming Of Our Future

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

It wasn't until 2 hours in that Derek finally found himself realising what was happening, what Penelope was doing right at that moment, it wasn't until that time he realised that he hadn't told his mom. He sat forward and ran his hand over his head, his mom loved Penelope and to find out she was now on an operating table undergoing open heart surgery was not going to do wonders for a woman in another state.

He remembered the moments before Penelope went under, she was beyond petrified and she was beyond trying to keep herself calm, all she wanted to do was go home. He'd been allowed only as far as the room that lead into the operating room and even then Penelope hadn't let up on letting go of him but it was her hand lost its grip and went limp that he knew it was now a waiting game, a wait and see time of his life that would have the most effect if something went wrong.

He thought to the Sunday, only a day before and how quick and hectic things had got, one moment he was enjoying a date with his Baby Girl, treating her how she deserved and then the next Kevin was kissing her and then the argument happened and the next thing he knew he'd broken it off with her and said one too many things out of line before slamming a door in her face and hearing her heart broken words, _All I've ever done is love you_, and he remembered how sad she sounded and how those words hit his heart centre on, in that instant he knew that Penelope had always loved him and ever since every moment that they'd shared, had it been over the phone or in personal played on in his head.

The others were consumed with all their own concerns, they were yet to hear about everything that happened but Derek stood up and they all looked at him. 'I'll be right back.' He said tiredly, his voice kept low. 'I'm gonna ring my mom.' Everyone nodded and watched him leave, they'd only known no longer than 6 hours that Penelope had a heart condition and now was having surgery and everything just seemed a little too unreal for them.

'I don't get why she wouldn't tell us.' JJ said confused, she'd already rung home to tell Will what was happening, he'd been okay and promised to bring Henry by to see Penelope when she was doing better.

'Derek said Penelope's dealt with this problem since she was 16 so she's just learnt to make it a part of her daily life. Plus she was underground for a while; she never had to tell anyone after her family so she kept it to herself. Everyone's entitled a secret or two.'

'But from Derek as well?'

'If Garcia thought Morgan would pity her then she would readily keep it a secret, no problems from it meant she didn't have to mention it.' Reid added thoughtfully.

'I'm pretty sure Penelope's going to feel guilty when she comes out.' Rossi commented as he crossed his arms over his chest. 'I mean, telling us is one thing but she's gonna hate herself for making us stay here.'

'But what she needs to understand is that we want to be here.' Emily told them and they all nodded in agreement. 'She just needs to learn that one.'

Derek paced outside, the evening creeping in. He didn't hate Penelope for keeping it a secret, what he hated was the argument, that was always going to come back on him. The moment she died was going to replay and the heaviness of Penelope's near dead body in his arms was always going to be felt. He shook his head as the dial tone rang out.

'Hello?' He heard his mom ask.

'Hey ma.' Derek said down the phone trying to keep his tone even and normal.'

'Derek, baby, how are you? And Penelope?' Fran asked happily.

'Mom, I really need you right now.'

'Derek, what's a matter? What's happened?' Her tone changed quickly as she heard her son's.

'Pen, she's in hospital.' He began and rallied off what was wrong with her. 'I really need you now.'

'I'm going to tell your sisters and get a flight booked. She'll be fine baby, don't you worry.' Fran tried to reason with her son, knowing that right now he was panicking. She looked up as Desiree came into the room and her daughter didn't even miss the tears in her mom's eyes. 'Right I'm going to get a flight as soon as but you don't worry. You know Penelope's going to get through this.'

'You're right.'

'Always listen to mother, she knows best.' Fran told him and smiled slightly, if there was ever something Fran could do in crisis it was be a pillow of hope and today was not going to be any different. 'Go back Derek and wait for her.'

'Thanks mom. I love you.'

'Love you too Derek. I'll see you soon.' She closed her phone and then turned to Des, who knew something dire was up. She then repeated everything Derek had told her, afterwards watching her daughter grab her laptop and start making haste with finding flights while spouting orders at her mom.

Derek went back to the guys and sunk back into a seat in the corner. He was usually the guy that ran into a room and protected all those he could, but for once in his life, he was utterly helpless and he hated the fact that he could do nothing to protect Penelope but he knew her, and how she'd be. So he sat up, took on a new demeanour and did was Penelope did, he found hope even in the hardest of times.

He looked at what lay ahead, beyond making it up to Penelope, and beyond Penelope's recovery, he sat and imagined making love to her again, cuddling her again, making her laugh, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries and finally settling down and marrying the one woman he loved and then of course came the children. Their children, he didn't care how many he had, he just wanted ones that had mingled skins of both him and her, little girls with Penelope's soft hair and little boys with their mom's smile.

He was going to get that future if it killed him and he was going to tell Penelope every single detail and plan, she was going to know what he thought when he thought of her and she was going to know just how long he'd been thinking these thoughts.

'Derek.' He felt a foot tap his and when he opened his eyes he noticed it was dark out and Hotch was standing over him. 'Doctor's just coming.'

Derek jumped up, fully alert. 'What's happened?'

'Penelope's in the ICU.'

'Is she okay?'

'She made it through so it's gotta show something, he's going to come down and give a full run down but he seemed positive.' Derek smiled uncertainly, he wanted Penelope now, to see her to make him realise that the end was nigh. 'You slept for ages, you feel better?' Hotch said crosses his arms over his chest and turning to watch the corridor vigilantly.

'How long was I out?'

'Just over 9 hours, the other's all fell asleep too.' Hotch told him and he looked at them. 'Best leave them be for the moment. Your mom and sisters got a flight for an hour's time.' Hotch told, he'd made sure he'd kept in check so that he could tell Derek after he'd finally gotten some sleep. 'We should get the others home.'

'Not until we can tell them about Penelope.' Derek said knowing that he would want to know just as much as them. It was then the taste of bile boiled in his throat as he watched the doctor approach.

'Penelope Garcia?' He asked, and then noticed Derek who seemed to try and blend into the walls; he stepped towards the two men as they stepped closer. 'She pulled through pretty strongly. We repaired the damage to the ventricles and her blood pressure began to settle, it's still high due to post op effects but it's looking promising from here.' He watched Derek smile some. 'Visiting is going to be extremely limited I'm afraid, she just needs rest.'

'Can I not at least just sit with her?'

'It goes against hospital policy I'm afraid and until she's moved it'll be 15 minutes at the most every hour.' He saw the two men nod with understanding. 'I can take you into her, she's not awake and because of the bypass she was on she's on a ventilator to help her lungs and heart get some more strength in them.'

'She's not awake?' Derek asked in whisper, he hadn't thought of that.

' She isn't no, but when she is she'll be pretty drowsy and the different medication she's on will make her sleep a lot which is what she needs to do really but she's stable which is the main thing. The ventilator is just to allow Penelope's heart and lungs to catch up, she'll come off it when she's awake and she thinks she can breathe on her own comfortably.' He said trying to sound positive. 'I can take you down now if you want.'

'Derek go, I'll get this lot up and tell them and I'll take you home.' Hotch pushed Derek and he nodded before following the doctor, his nerves getting to him now, he didn't want to see Penelope so fragile but he needed to see her for his sanity.

However, upon entering the room it was a totally different story, the view in front of him enamoured his devotion to her, reapplied thickly his love for her and increased his yearn to tell her all. 'I'll come back in 15 minutes.' The doctor told him and left Derek to it. Derek just stood there and took Penelope's hand in his, her eyes closed, her usually red lips circling a tube, tubes stemming from too many area's on her body, an IV in her neck, wires leading to monitors, a long white plaster shown under the loose fitting gown on her chest.

'I got so much to tell you Baby Girl but so little time right now.' He started, sucked in a breath, leant in, kissed her forehead and began his storytelling of how their life was going to look.

As he closed his eyes to tell her, he didn't see his vulnerable best friend or his broken Baby Girl, he saw Penelope in her prime, laughing at him, her eyes all smiles, her whole demeanour yelling healthy and independent.

So he kept that Penelope in mind and looked down at his challenge, at the woman that was stemming his determination and continued to speak to her until the very last second he had, he'd repeat it every time until she was awake and then he'd tell her again when she was fully awake.


	12. Alive

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

When Penelope opened her eyes the first thing that sprung to mind was that she'd made it, she come through the other side of the operation and she was alive. She looked around, movement was limited and then realisation after realisation hit her. First she realised that the light outside told her it was nearing the middle of the day, the sun was bright and inviting, then she realised her chest was killing her, like a paralysing pain, then she picked up on all the new tubes and wires pouring out of her, all causing discomfort. Then the biggest, most terrifying realisation struck her head on, the tube in-between her teeth and lips and sheer panic took over, she was drowsy, in pain, her movements slowed and she didn't know what to do.

Then like a saving Grace a familiar looking nurse flew through the door, her hands fall. 'It's good to see you awake Penelope.' She said with a calm smile and she checked over everything. 'There's no need to be afraid, the tube's to help your heart and lungs recuperate a bit more from the surgery, it'll be removed when the doctors happy you can tolerate breathing.'

Penelope didn't know what to do, so she just let the sleep cascade in. 'Do you want some more pain meds?' Penelope nodded slightly, she didn't want them, she needed them, the only reason sleep was coming was because of whatever anaesthesia was left in her system. 'Visiting times about to start for the hour, Derek's been back and forth all morning.' She heard the nurse say but the urge for a painless oblivion was much more desirable than seeing Derek, even though she knew full well he'd make her feel better in a psychological sense.

She strained to keep her eyes open as a familiar sense filled the room; her eyes opened enough to see Derek's smiling face. 'Get some more sleep Princess.' She heard him tell her and she gave in and didn't struggle to open her eyes anymore. 'Is she okay?'

'She's fine, initially panicked when she woke up but she settled once she knew everything was normal.' The nurse told him casually. 'Everything's looking good, at this rate she could get out but the end of the week.'

'That optimistic?'

'I like to keep a positive vibe. She's doing okay Derek but she's going to be sleeping a lot for the next month or so. She needs that type of rest to recuperate.' She watched him nod. 'Doctor thinks the surgery was a success, that she shouldn't have any problems.' Derek smiled lightly. 'It's all good, Penelope's a lucky one, she's got a great support system around her, that's what people need for a successful recovery and she has it.'

'We plan to keep it that way too.'

'I guessed you would.' The nurse told him and his smile grew slightly. 'I'll give you an extra five minutes, it seems you need it.' She told him as she left and Derek was grateful, he just took Penelope's hand in his and spoke to her again.

When he left he found his mom and sister's waiting there, delays had meant that'd only just made it. They all looked at him expectantly. 'She's asleep.' Was all he could master.

'Come here.' Fran said to her son and took him in her arms; he took it willingly before feeling his sisters latch on. 'We're here now son.'

'Yeah bro, we're here to help. As long as you need us.'

'University Des?'

'I told them my sister was ill, they gave me extended leave and gave me all the notes and emails so they'd help me as much as possible.'

'You didn't need to.'

'I know I didn't but I wanted to, we all love Penelope.'

Derek smiled gratefully. 'And what about you Sarah, you have the kids.'

'I'm the back and forth one but works being understanding so you've got me for like 5 days then I need to go back, but I'll be back.'

'That's going to cost a fortune; you need to let me pay.'

'You needn't worry about it, it's not your worry, Penelope's your worry.'

'Derek, does she have insurance?'

'She's had insurance for this since she was diagnosed with it.' Derek breathed out; he was thankful it was sorted and that Penelope wouldn't have to worry about medical bills. 'Her inheritance went into it and she's just been adding onto it.'

'Well that's good. Have the doctor's said anything?' Fran asked, the retired nurse in her taking precedence.

'She made it through it strongly, she did good in there, but she's on a ventilator until she can breathe on her own.' Derek told them as positively as he possibly could. 'Erm, it was a success and every time I've seen him this morning he told me that her recovery's going to be slow like with all heart ops and that she's going to need a lot of hands on care seeing as she's going to be extremely limited.'

'Well it's good you've got me here until she's cleared to go back to work.' Fran said and saw a note of sadness to her son. 'What's up?'

'Pardon?'

'What's happened that you aren't telling?'

'She died in my arms, that's what led us here. We had an argument over her ex, he's been playing up and I seriously doubted, let's just say he kissed her when we were on a date and I need everything wrong. I ended it, thinking she'd want him back, that she'd only ever wanted him back and well it blew up in my face beautifully.'

'Well obviously not or you wouldn't be here. I've known Penelope long enough to know that if that argument had hurt you two enough she wouldn't want you here, am I right?'

'We're engaged.' Derek said and his mouth turned into a big grin. 'She accepted me, we talked it out, she said things, I said things, that argument did nothing but finally let us let go of whatever problems we had and take what we wanted.' He told them happily. 'But Sunday she collapsed on my porch and that's when I found out about her heart condition, she hadn't told anyone.'

'She told me.' Fran told him honestly and he didn't look in the slightest bit shocked. 'As a mother figure she told me, she was concerned because she was having trouble catching her breath and she was constantly tired. I told her to got to the doctor and she did and well he diagnosed stress.'

'Did he test her heart condition?'

'He did and found nothing wrong, she's been a ticking time bomb since she was diagnosed Derek, but she's young and up for the fight so if it was going to happen it's better now than later when her fight might not be so good.'

'You and Penelope are both voices of reasons you know that?'

'She's a wise woman that's all.' Fran joked and then turned serious on them all. 'Right so how's this going to work out then? I mean I know there's going to be restricted visiting for a bit, so how's it work?' Fran said undertaking the challenge with both hands and a feisty spirit.


	13. Vivid Positivity

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Derek finally allowed his mom to take him home that night, Penelope hadn't really woken up since and he was glad, from what he'd heard he knew she was going to be in pain and that would wreak havoc on him most. So he went home and crawled into his bed, he missed feeling Penelope's curves as they spooned together, he missed everything about her, the nights were just too lonely at the moment but for her he slept. If he wanted to care for her properly he needed to keep on top of sleep and he needed to be able to function so he rested when he could, slept when necessary and it was beginning to pay off.

Come the next morning when he woke up he stretched, and slowly sat up, he felt ready, he was ready to tackle whatever happened head on and so he jumped up, went for his run and then as he was about a half mile in he realised that Penelope had said she used to do running but had to give up. Running was his release from time to time, Penelope must've been good once upon a time and as he turned and ran back he decided that when the doctor encouraged exercise, he was going to make sure running was an option and he was going to get her running again.

As he slowed into a gentle jog up to the house he knew that only positivity exuded him, Penelope had woken up, that was all that mattered to him. So he jogged into the house, straight to his room, into the bathroom and got showered and dressed quickly before heading into the kitchen, writing his mom and sister's a note, grabbing an apple and a bottle of water he ran from the house into his car and drove to the hospital.

Now he stood in the room, an extended visiting time, and Penelope breathing on her own. The positivity growing ever more vivid with every passing moment. He took a seat and took Penelope's hand in his and just kissed it. He then reached into his pocket and drew out the ring. He smiled every time he held it. It was a family heirloom, one of many great treasures but Derek saw it as the best. He knew its value grew more and more and he knew that the ring was only to be given to the woman he loved, the woman he was in love with and the woman that he was going to die with in decades to come. Penelope was that woman. So he slipped the multiple diamond ring onto her finger and kissed her hand.

'Feels good.' Penelope said low and raspy, her voice husky and heavy with exhaustion. Derek looked up with a smile on his lips and his eyes met Penelope's. He put his hand on her head and leant in.

'I hear you had a good night Baby Girl, does it feel like it?'

'No.' She said honestly and he laughed. 'It really hurts.' She groaned as the ebbs came and went.

'I bet it does, nurse said you panicked a bit when they took the tube out?' Penelope nodded, she didn't know what was happening when she felt her lungs contract and yearn for a deep breath, then as the tube was taken out she felt the shortness of air before being given oxygen to help her, only when she regulated her own breath did she calm. 'You're brave though, you know that right?'

'I don't feel it.'

'Maybe not but everything that's gone down in the last 3 days Baby Girl you're being brave. Taking it in your stride, that makes you brave to me.' He told her and squeezed her hand. 'All of this will be gone in a couple of days and we can get you better and home.'

'Oh don't tempt me.' Penelope said drowsily. 'If I had the energy to, I'd get up and go there now.' She then looked at him, then the ring on her finger and back up at Derek's face.

'What's up?'

'Sell my apartment.' She told him and confusion grew on her face. 'It'll give us extra money to sort medical bills if I don't have enough with my insurance.'

'You've got enough, more than enough, I've had this talk with your doctor already, and Hotch and Rossi looked into it, everything's covered princess.'

'Okay well downsize my apartment, the money could prove handy because I'm guessing your mom and sisters are here?' He laughed and she smirked knowingly. 'Let them have the excess for flights because it's not fair on them otherwise.'

'I heard Penelope was awake.' Fran's warming voice came from the doorway and Penelope looked up, and Fran smiled idolising at her, the motherly concern on her face. 'It's good to see those beautiful eyes Penelope.'

'I'm going to make her get some sleep in a moment.' Derek got his say in, knowing that Penelope was coming back in leaps and bounds.

'My apartment?'

'Can wait but don't doubt you aren't living with me permanently after you get discharged.' Derek told her forcefully. 'My future wife is not living away from my home and bed any longer.' He continued and Penelope smiled. 'Half your stuffs at mine so I'll move the rest when I can.'

'And then sell my apartment?' She pushed; she wanted them to be financially stable.

'Then I'll look at selling your apartment.'

'Thank you.'

'Get some sleep Penelope.' Was all Derek hushed and she accepted the rest. Derek just continued to sit there and watch her for a moment.

'That ring looks beautiful on her.' Fran commented,, the tears falling, she'd brought up Derek to know the significance of that ring and she was hoping that Derek had taken noticed was using it properly.

'She's my better half mom, always has been and God be damned if I'm going to let her walk away now. I want her as Mrs Morgan.' Derek looked up, his watery eyes catching the lights; he was near tears as he spoke. 'I never wanted to settle down, I never even wanted kids but with Penelope that's all I see. I look back at my past relationships and I can't doubt her, she's been through so many throes with me and woman and now I'm on woman man. And it's always been thanks to Pen.'

'You are using the ring right then.' Fran smiled as she wiped her face.

'I've had this ring at mine for years mom, even when a relationship took off I never wanted to use this and then Pen came along and the yearns been there every day just itching away at me.' He pushed the back of Penelope's hand to his lips and then looked up as the nurse came in. 'See you soon Baby Girl.' He told the sleeping Pen and then kissed lips gently, her cheek a little harder and then left with his mom.

'Let's go get breakfast; she won't want you wasting away on her.' Fran commented as she walked down the corridor towards the elevator. 'You look more settled today.' She commented, seeing the mood of her son shift greatly.

'I am, she's awake, she's breathing on her own and more importantly she's still her pushy self.'

'Just how you love her.'

'Exactly how I love her.'


	14. Giving Normalcy

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Come the next day Penelope found herself waking up, the darkness outside, she breathed in deeply and found herself thirsty. Sure enough, Derek placed a straw to her lips and she sucked the cool liquid of juice and lavished the feel of it.

'Good to see you wake up.'

'I haven't been out that long.' She told him and took a bit more drink, Derek just laughed. 'What?'

'You've been asleep like 36 hours give or take.'

'No way.' Penelope breathed out in disbelief and Derek just nodded. 'That's kinder odd.'

'Nope, you're being moved out of the ICU tomorrow.' He told her and settled into the chair. 'They started the last 24 hour ob's about 5 hours ago so 5pm tomorrow afternoon you won't be here; you'll be in a normal room and on your way to recovery.'

'It's 10 at night?' She asked in shock.

'Yup, 10pm Wednesday night.' He sat forward and smirked at her. 'The only reason I'm here is because we have a tradition and the doc agreed to give you some normalcy.' Penelope raised an eyebrow. 'I've got a bed.' He pointed at the cot under the window and then pointed to the telly. 'A TV, a DVD player.' He pointed to the box underneath it. 'My Baby Girl.' He said with a smirk on his lips. 'So we're doing out movie fest.'

Penelope felt her eyes water at that moment; he'd done all this for her. Derek turned to see the tear run down her cheek, and he just gently lifted his hand and wiped it away. 'You're the best Derek.'

He pursed his lips slightly, first names was a serious note. 'I've got a woman to look after and if she wants movies, so be it, she'll get them. If she wants ice cream, so be it, I'll leave and find her some. If she wants sleep, so be it, she'll sleep and I'll sleep.'

'Put a movie on but I'm not promising I'll see the end.'

'I'm not holding much hope either.' He teased and she laughed slightly and stopped as her chest seized up. 'How painful is it?' He asked as he forgot about the DVD for a moment and Penelope became his main concern.

'It's just tight and laughing just pulls but the strange thing is, I like to laugh and the pain doesn't put me off.'

'Well I'm going to take that as a good thing. I love your laugh; I want to hear it as often as I can.'

'Put the DVD on before you turn into a pile of mush Handsome.' She joked and Derek laughed as he gave in a put the DVD on, he then pulled the chair as close to bed as possible and sat down, wrapping his arm around Penelope's. 'I wished I could snuggle into you.' Penelope admitted quietly.

'Soon, then you can have all the snuggles you want.'

'You've definitely gone soft, you said snuggles. You usually say cuddles.'

'Snuggles, cuddles? Potato, potatah, whatever my goddess wants my goddess gets.' He told her and looked over his shoulder at her. 'But you rest and you could get it sooner than you think.' He winked at her and turned back to the DVD. Penelope just remained staring at him until the lull of drugs took over, she knew now that after at least 4, maybe 5, minutes of drugs being administered she couldn't fight it anymore; she needed to take the sleep.

Derek knew from the feel of her hand that Penelope was asleep, it'd been good while it had lasted, and although he couldn't have her in his arms entirely he was feeling like a normal life was reoccurring some.

He got up and turned the film off, and crawled into the cot, he knew the light above the bed had to be left on and from it he saw Penelope easily. He fell asleep staring at her and that night he dreamt of past memories but shot awake when their argument happened again, and the tears began to pour from Penelope's eyes all over again and soon he was immersed in water and drowning fast. He sat up and ran his hands over his face, it was daylight out, Penelope was still asleep and he looked up to see Sarah lingering at the door.

'You okay bro?' She asked concerned. 'Some jump you did there.'

'Yeah I'm fine.' He said and found his sister sitting down and handing over a coffee.

'Mom and Des are bringing up breakfast; she wants to see you eat.'

'Doesn't believe I have been?'

'She doesn't doubt it for a moment but mother's prerogative.' Sarah said and then bounced slightly on the bed. 'Lumpy. How'd you sleep?'

'Roughly.'

'I can tell.' She said and laughed slightly. 'Does Penelope love the stubbly look?'

'Penelope's loves it all.' Pen said as she breathed in deeply and slowly opened her eyes to close them again due to the brightness from the window. Sarah got up and closed the blinds before going over to the bed. 'Well look what Chicago brings me.' Penelope said dryly and smiled.

'Well I could hardly not come could I?' Sarah asked her and put a hand on her hip. 'We've been getting everything ready for your safe return home.' She continued with a smile. 'I've got to go back Saturday but don't discredit that I'll be back.'

'But the kids?'

'Let's say they're paying Quantico a big ole visit.' She said as she sat on the bed gently. 'But I mean come on, a visit to their uncle Derek and Aunt P? 5 year olds can get so excited by the simplest of things.'

'Don't bring them here when it's all going to be chaos and boring.'

'I'll bring them whenever I want to Penelope, so don't go against my plans.'

'I think I just got told.' Penelope started and looked at Derek who was sitting quietly on the cot, staring off, his hand to his lip thoughtfully. 'What's got him looking so Einstein?'

'I think it's you.'

'Pfft.' Penelope said and looked back at him. 'Hey Handsome!' She said weakened, her hand going to rest under her breasts, a bid for some comfort. 'Deeerek.' She pulled his name out but she was being too quiet. 'Go slap his head.'

'No don't slap my head.' He said as he looked up at her and smiled brightly, that smile never ceased to amaze Penelope, and it always made her feel better.

'Good thing you snapped out of your stare, beginning to wonder if you were cationic for a moment.'

'No reason to be catatonic, every thing's looking up.' He told her and kissed her lips. 'How you feeling today baby?'

'Sore, extremely sore.' She said with evident disgust at the feeling of the wound on her chest. 'And tied down.' The pair looked at her and Derek shook his head, her face showed what she was thinking.

'Don't go there Penelope, my sister, older sister might I add, does not need to know anymore.'

'Whoa!' Sarah said putting her hands up and pushing away in mock horror. 'Please do not taint my worldly view of my brother Pen, what you two do in your house is your business.'

'And the office.' Penelope added with a smirk and Derek put his hands on his head and couldn't help but laugh.

'We didn't all need to know that.' Hotch said from the doorway and Penelope's pale complexion gained about two shades of a blush.


	15. Giving Him The Proof

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Penelope woke up slowly, she knew she was in a new room and for the moment visiting was restricted or at least until she was settled, she didn't know how long she'd been out of it but she knew she was still tired. She looked down at her hand and realised her ring was gone. She felt the panic rise, she knew the history behind it, she couldn't cope if she lost it. Not only would it be bad for her to tell Derek but she loved that ring too much.

'I told you to never go with him.' Penelope jumped as Kevin stood up from the seat in the corner making her heart pound double time, an excruciating task at the moment.

'Kevin, how did you get in here?'

'Told them I was family because I mean I was screwing you long before Derek Morgan was.' He said almost smugly and Penelope felt her stomach clench. 'I might have been sleeping with Luke and you at the same time but I mean I was sleeping with you long before he was.' That finished her, she threw up, her pained, energy lacking body draped off the side of the bed as her stomach convulsed repeatedly.

'Get out.' Penelope breathed quietly, her chest pounding, she could hear the heart monitor picking up on her heart beat.

'Oh no, I'm here to look after you.'

'No.' Penelope said as she pushed herself back, heaving with struggled breath. 'Derek will be back.'

'Oh he'll sure leave you when he finds out about what us two did while he was away on cases.' Penelope's eyes poured tears; she had no understanding to why Kevin was out to destroy all her hope and happiness. 'I never liked the way he made you his thing, that always grated me, I wouldn't have cared who you went with but Derek fucking Morgan...' He asked with evident disgust. Not caring that he was causing Penelope distress in any way, he was too caught up in his rant. 'He'll just drop you Penelope, once you get out of here and see's that scar you'll have under that bandage and he won't care because at the end of the day you've never amounted to anything really. Always a letdown, you might be beautiful to me but beauty's subjective. The way I see beautiful is not how Derek does, he won't see you like I do.' Penelope pushed back into the pillow; she wanted to be elsewhere, somewhere where she wasn't in pain, where no one could ever hurt her again, a place where she wasn't in hospital. However, in reality Kevin was still hell bent on continuing. 'So you see this ring here?' He fiddled with the ring. 'It's all out of guilt, once that wears off he won't want you anymore.' He finally saw the stress on Penelope and stepped towards her. 'I know the truth hurts Penny but you need to hear it. I'm your other half can't you see that?'

'Give me the ring Kevin.' Penelope said quietly. 'It's not yours.' She said to him. 'I don't love you; I'll never love you again. You helped put me here.'

'Well no that's not true. The nurse told me what's wrong.' He said sitting on the edge of the bed, not like Derek did, but heavily, pulling Penelope down, causing her more discomfort. 'You have HCM, which I will look up so I know best how to look after you and well she said its been a long waiting problem.'

'You helped it get to this point. I told you I hated you now listen to me. I hate you Kevin fucking Lynch; I never want to see you again.' She said as her hand went to her chest, she was beginning to feel sick again.

'Na uh baby girl.' He told her and he leant in and kissed her, hurting her the most way possible. Penelope pushed her head to the side the best she could as his lips made contact. She was too weak to push him off her, he was too heavy for her to move and as he continued to carry on she cried all the more before the weight was gone.

'Get out!' She screamed as she shot up to lash out. She saw Derek pulling Kevin out of the room and Fran nearby. She then broke down and Fran came to her rescue as a source of comfort.

'It's okay Penelope, I've got you. You need to calm down.' She said as she listened to Penelope heave and heavy breathing from her sobs. 'It's over, he's gone.'

Derek couldn't believe Kevin, and he was not about to go lightly, he didn't care if his sister's had to see this. 'You think that was a wise idea?' He said as Kevin's back connected with the wall. 'You think that doing that to her was fair? You say you love her when really you don't, you're just jealous that she managed to move on after you and find someone that really does love her and wants her.'

'You wanted her so much that you let me get in your mind Morgan.' Derek threw him into the wall harder this time, knocking the wind out of him.

'You might have tried to destroy us but what you really did has made us see what we wanted to and I'm gonna make you a promise right here, right now. When I've got her down the aisle I'm sending you our first wedding photo and I'm going to get her to sign it. Penelope Morgan. And for what I just saw you do to her, well let's just say I won't be the only one that'll want you dead.'

'You wouldn't kill me.'

'Wanna bet?' Derek breathed out with a growl. 'She's seriously ill and you, you knob jockey, think it's wise to cause her that much distress? How long have you been in there doing that?'

'Long enough.'

'Could you not see what was wrong with her? What you were doing to her? Do you like being a bully Lynch is that your kick? You like causing pain and naming it in the art of love?' Kevin remained silent. 'Answer me!'

'I love her more than you ever will Morgan.'

'I highly doubt it.' Derek growled back and he saw Lynch squirm in his grip. 'Give me one God damn reason why I shouldn't just put you out of your misery right now? Because that woman in there is here because of your doing and my doing.'

'Oh you can't blame me for it.'

'So the phone calls, the texts, the games of destroying us don't make a difference no? You made me doubt her Lynch; I love her so God damn much that I hurt her the worst way possible. If you hadn't been a fucking arsehole we wouldn't have fought and if you hadn't have kissed her then we wouldn't have fallen out.'

Kevin smirked then.

'But you know what, she forgave me, for everything she forgave me and accepted my marriage proposal. You lost Lynch, because you're a loser. You lost her the moment you decided to break her heart.' Kevin remained silent and Derek looked to see Rossi storming up the corridor. 'Get him out of my sights.' Derek said and threw Kevin to Rossi who then dug his heels in and started a rant, Derek just walked into the room and saw Penelope.

'Hey baby girl.' He said as he approached her and saw the vomit on the floor, and the disruption of the bed. 'He's gone, long gone. I actually think Rossi's about ready to kill him out there.' Penelope remained sobbing. 'What's hurting P?'

'My chest.' She said and nurse came in with evident panic. 'I think I ripped one of the tube out a little. It feels wet on my side.'

Fran looked, the nurse knew Fran was a retired nurse; she saw the blood and looked up at the nurse. 'I'll grab the stuff and we'll sort it out.' She said with a smile, sometimes having a family member that was a nurse was better than not.

'Pen, look at me.' Penelope slowly looked at her, tears still streaming. 'What else hurts?'

'Just my chest. I think it's from where I was sick.' Penelope said and Fran ran a hand over Penelope's head in a bid for comfort.

'Right Derek keep talking to her.' His mom told her and he smiled and looked down, this he could do.

'I think you need this back.' He said and put the ring on her finger. 'Whatever he said to you was lies, he's a jealous man that didn't think you could quite easily move on after his left you but you moved on, we moved on.'

'He wouldn't leave me alone.'

'I know but we got him now and I'm pretty sure there's going to be a couple of people that want to lynch, Lynch.' He said and Penelope said, she was beginning to calm down as the nurse and Fran sorted her side out.

'He called me baby girl.' She told him and she saw anger grew in him. 'Then he kissed me.' Derek wiped the tears, he'd seen that moment happen and he'd seen her try to get away from him and he'd acted in the moment and he was glad he did.

'Right Penelope, let's get you back on you back.' The nurse told them and helped move Penelope. 'We'll get this all cleared up soon but do you need any more pain meds? It might be wise for you sleep.' Penelope nodded and the nurse noticed Penelope's hand on her chest. 'Mind if I take a look at your chest?' She said and Fran moved to the end of the bed, Penelope let her hand fall and the nurse lifted the bandage off. 'It looks sore like expected. Do you have any weird sensations there?'

'No.'

'Right I think your best route is take some pain meds and get some more rest. I'll contact the doctor; he's going to need to have a look.' She said and picked up the heart readings. 'You're heart skipped a couple of beats in places so we'll get him to look and we'll go from there but you need to rest. Nothing else is your worry.'

Derek leant in, in that moment. 'Get some rest princess.'

'Will you just sit here with me?' She asked him quietly. 'I don't want to lose you.' She said as more tears began to fall.

'I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be each time you open those eyes and I'm going to love you each time.'

'Even with an ugly scar?'

'It won't be ugly baby girl. Every piece of you is beautiful, that'll be no difference.' He told her and he saw her calm and relax. 'He told you I wouldn't find you attractive didn't he?' She nodded and he let out a low growl again. 'I want you to listen to me, the only way I'm ever going to leave is if you tell me and even then I want a perfectly good reason why I should do so but until that day I don't want to hear that Kevin's got into any of our heads got it?'

'Got it.'

'Good.' He said and planted a gentle kiss on her lips, not a rough one like Kevin but a tentative one, that exuded passion. Derek was always spot on with giving Penelope the right attention and he'd show Kevin Lynch who love Penelope more. The way Derek saw it, Penelope Morgan sounded so much better than Penelope Lynch did and it was going to stay that way. Penelope was going to marry him and he was going make their first wedding photo one of him kissing Penelope the proper way, the way a woman should be loved, and he was going to get her to sign it with her new and improved name.

That photo was going to show him who truly won.


	16. Bringing You Home

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

By the following Tuesday Penelope found herself in Derek's SUV, she watched the buildings pass as she got closer and closer to his place. When they made it she weakly got out of the car and immediately felt Derek's hand thread around her back and steady her on her feet.

Slowly they made it into Derek's place and he took her straight to the bed room, she smiled he'd put purple sheets on it and had fresh pyjamas ready for her. He gently sat her down and then began helping her to undress.

He just ran a hand gently over her bare skin; the amount of bandages covering her was shocking. The one down her chest was the obvious one, then there was the one where the chest drain had been, another obvious one but there was the one of her neck from the IV and the one of her on her groin, he smiled at her and pulled her pyjamas bottoms up one leg, then did the next one before grabbing the top and putting that on as gently as he could possibly make it. He then got her laying down in the bed and tucked her in.

'You need anything you just call me on the phone.' He told her, he was told by the doctor to get her home and straight to bed, she needed to be off her feet as often as possible for at least the first 3 weeks of being home. 'Anything you need?'

'No thanks Handsome.' She said tiredly and he turned the light off, making the room nearly dark with the curtains closed. 'Thank you... for everything.'

'No thanks needed, I want you better as soon as.' He said and kissed her. 'Now you get some sleep and I'll see you in a bit.' He then left her and went downstairs.

Penelope just lay there in the dark, she didn't know how to explain it but as soon as they had left the hospital she felt a new feeling begin to decline. She felt sicker than she had, and the exhaustion that shadowed her was scary; she could quite happily have laid down on the concrete and slept. Soon the sleep took over and she just slept, she wanted to sleep over this feeling.

Except when she woke up, the room was somewhat darker, showing the progress of the day, and the feeling of needing to throw up was building in her throat. She hurriedly, and to some extent with a terrified feeling, pushed herself into the bathroom, her legs buckling, making her fall to the floor by the toilet with a thud and she just made it.

Derek had only just checked on Penelope, and happy that she was finally settled he took a seat in the living room with his mom and sisters, but the moment he sat he heard the thud and without a second thought he was up and running towards the stairs. He found the bed empty and the bathroom do ajar, Clooney inspecting the room, he then heard the coughing and he went straight in to find Penelope bent over the toilet.

'Pen...' Derek said and automatically got onto the tiled flooring next to her, he knew his mom had followed but because he'd jumped stairs as he went he got up there a lot faster. 'You need anything?' Penelope shook her head as she threw up again, making her feel worse than she did already. He looked up at his mom helplessly, Fran just got him to move and she got down next to Penelope.

'You scared?'

'Why's this happening?' Penelope asked, she felt the urge to cry building up, the urge to sleep creeping in, the urge to just want to shrink consuming her.

'They changed the tablets before you left the hospital, that means your systems got to take that in to account. Plus you're walking around so much more than you can tolerate and you had opened heart surgery Penelope, not something minor but something major. You're body needs to deal with the sort of invasion that happened. In a couple of days it'll all calm down.' Fran soothed.

However a few days later Penelope didn't feel better. Derek couldn't help but panic about her, he tried to get her to eat, she didn't want to, he tried to get her out of bed, she didn't want to leave and he was near breaking point before his mom stepped in again.

'Look, Derek, she's been through a lot and right now her body and mind is going through the transition phase from being in hospital with the dependency being on doctors to coming home when she needs to learn to be independent again.'

'I feel helpless.'

'And you're going to but right now Penelope needs to be the one that can say when she's feeling odd, when her hearts doing something it shouldn't be, when she's ready to eat she will. In hospital, there's machines for this, and medicine to help with that, she's had that for over a week so she needs to just relearn to do it herself and she'll be fine.'

'Yeah but how longs that gonna take?'

'However long she needs to take to feel better. Just don't stress over it, because that's not going to help you or her and right now she needs you, more than ever and I know you know that so keep it going. Go and lay on the bed with her, talk to her, take the paper with you and read that to her, watch the telly with her, sleep with her during the day, just be there for her.'

Derek nodded and smiled, he then just ran towards his bedroom, he entered and saw Penelope stirring, his smile brightened and he stripped some and got into the bed with her, he wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled the best she could before falling back to sleep, he then just did the same and kept her in his arms until she was ready to be more like Penelope.

Later that day when Penelope opened her eyes, Derek was leaning against the head board, paper in hands. 'Anything interesting happening in the world?'

'No really, wish there were more exciting things to share but sadly not.' He said and put the paper on his lap and looked at her. 'You feeling any better?'

'A little, I've just got a little bit of pain in my chest. A little tired.'

'Well you're due your next meds so you know that's going to knock you out again and later I want you to try and eat anything.' Penelope groaned at the thought of food. 'I know you don't want to but you need to try Baby Girl, it's not going to do you any good otherwise.'

'I'll try, but just because it's you.' A knock came from the door and Derek got up, pulled his jeans on and opened the door, it was then Fran walked in.

'You got back then.' Derek commented and as his mom went and sat on the bed. 'Or ignore me.'

'Shh Derek.' She said and Penelope smirked. 'How are you feeling now?'

'A bit better.'

'Well I took a trip to the hospital, seems we've been worrying about you and your lack of eating and interaction.' Penelope immediately felt guilt shadow her, and she went to apologise. 'I dare hear I'm sorry I won't forgive you.' Fran said and Penelope stilled. 'I spoke to your doctor and he told me that not eating, not speaking much and not wanting to do a thing is perfectly normal. So you keep feeling like that because it'll pass.' She told Penelope and Derek sat back down on the bed. 'You feel the urge to cry, then you cry, you want to laugh you do so, but do it at your own pace because at the end of the day Penelope doing any of this recovery for someone other than yourself is only going to hurt you more.'

'But I'm affecting all of you.'

'Yeah but by doing things to suit us, to make us feel better is not going to get you better and that's affecting us more. So you do as you please Penelope but by the end of your third week you need to be up and walking around and eating.'

'And talking more.' Penelope added.

'Which you're already starting to do, so you see, things are looking up already.'


	17. Gentle Victory

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Come the third week, Derek washed Penelope come on strength to strength, she gained her smile back and her love of good food and although she got tired easily she was always up for more. Now she had sat in the living room, resting once again, his mom and sister out on a food run.

'Walk later Princess.' Derek said as he came back into the room with a drink and Penelope's normal round of meds, he knew she was getting fed up the running mill of taking all the tablets but he continually reminded her that were going to start decreasing soon. 'I was thinking because the doctor said about 10minutes, we could go take Clooney out for a little walk and come back.'

'He needs longer than 10 minutes.'

'But until we can get you getting longer than that then he can keep going out again.' Derek compromised and sat down. 'It's not scaring too bad.' He commented as he saw the line on her chest, he knew she was self conscious of it already and it was going to keep making her feel better about it.

'Derek, stop making me feel better about it. I'm left with this for life.' She said with the same tone of voice, it was breaking slightly. 'I'm never gonna get used to it.'

'It doesn't make you any less beautiful Pen, and plus I have this.' He said and pulled at a tube of ointment. 'I spoke to your doctor and he suggested this.' He handed it to her. 'It'll help fade the scar a bit, make it even out.'

'You asked for me?'

'Well, yeah, I hate how uncomfortable this is making you feel and I want to make it as better as I can.'

'And you do but it just brings me down from time to time.'

'Well I'll keep bringing you up from time to time.' He said and Penelope smiled before accepting a hug and she just snuggled into his arms. 'Get some sleep Baby Girl.' He told her and felt her settle easier than she had; he then just put the game on and watched that until his mom came in with Desiree.

'Tablet's still wearing her out?'

'They are, she's accepted a walk.'

'Doctor say it's okay?'

'He did, he encourages at least 10 minutes to 13 minutes of exercise for the next week and then we increase it to 15 minutes and keep going.' He said and ran his hand up Penelope's arm. 'He took the bandage of her chest too.'

'How bad?'

'She's already self conscious of it.'

'Well she's going to be but you keep doing what you've been doing.' Fran quipped and left him to it, he smiled, and he was going to keep doing what he was doing.

He continued to do so as the days passed, and the weeks and even the months. Coming up 2 months he was still rubbing the lotion in, and he was still tending to Penelope.

'First day back at work Baby Girl.'

'Hmm, first steps into the bull pen as my fiancée too.' Derek quipped and kissed Penelope's left hand delicately. 'Absolutely beautiful.'

'I'm glad you find me beautiful.' She said and straightened the patterned skirt. 'You don't need to worry about me, your moms going to come and get me at midday.' She told him and he relaxed, even though Penelope was going back to work, she was still tiring easily, and was still on multiple tablets, Hotch had let her back with only half days until the doctor said it was all okay to be full time. He'd also worried about another factor. 'I'm stronger than I was Handsome, Kevin says one thing out of line and I won't back down.'

'I don't want you to get stressed over this.'

'I won't, I promise. The moment that I get stressed I'm going to take a break, breathe and come into the bull pen.' She said with a sincere smile. 'I hear that Hotch even has a chair ready for such a moment.' Derek laughed and kissed her forehead.

'Come on silly girl, let's get you back as the Oracle.'

'Hmm, long time.' She said about the nickname.

'Too long.' Derek said wrapping his arms around her as she put a scarf on. 'Take this off.' He said and removed the scarf. 'You have nothing to hide, you keep it hidden, you'll keep doing it for life.'

'You're in the wrong profession.'

'I keep this profession for my Baby Girl.' He told her, twisted her and kissed her passionately. 'Let's get you to work Goddess.' He told her and took her hand and led her out of the room.

Hours later, Penelope was working in her usual manner, her fingers moving at the speed of lightening, the searches getting done, her lips in a victorious grin. She then halted as she heard the door open and she turned and stood.

'It's good to see you back Penelope.' Kevin said with a slight smile. 'Like you've never been gone.'

Penelope stood there and immediately she positioned her arms and hands to cover what it of the scar you could see over past the top. 'What can I do for you Kevin?'

'I just wanted a chat.' He said and Penelope's hand shifted and he caught a glint of the ring. 'You're still with him then?'

'You still with him?' She retorted.

'Sadly not, he dumped me, knew I was still in love with you.'

'You do realise that I can never be in love with you again.'

'Penny, come on, what do you and Derek Morgan have in common? I mean us two, we love computers.'

'I can't build a relationship on the fact that me and the man I'm going to marry love computers. That was all you could give me. Derek gives me things you never could.'

'Name a few.'

Penelope felt her heart beat race, she wanted this to be as easy as possible and she did not for the life of her want to get stressed over Kevin Lynch. 'Can you leave my office please?' She asked politely.

'That just answers my question.'

'Derek gives me a place I fell loved, he makes me laugh the loudest, he's compassionate, and caring and he makes you look like kid when I add things up. Now if you'll excuse me.' She said left Kevin to it, he then left and admitted defeat at that moment.

Penelope went down to the bullpen, and smiled, Derek had the chair by his desk, he was involved in a report and so she just walked in and sat down and slowly Derek looked up at her. 'Well, I'm not taking this visit as good, what's stressed my Baby out?'

'Kevin.' She replied and sucked in a deep breath, she watched Derek. 'He aksed me what we had in common because me and him have our love of computers. I'm sorry but if that's all he could think off his sorely mistaken.'

'Hush up woman and calm it.' Derek said and took her hand in his. 'Look, Kevin's a knob, he thinks that the World Wide Web is going to make his living but in reality it doesn't, it plays a part but it doesn't fulfil lives to the max.'

'I know, and that was what I was going to get too but I could feel myself getting stressed t him for that day at the hospital and well I didn't want to get myself into a state and pay for it later.'

'Well good on you but you just sit there and I'll go and get you a cup of tea.'

'Thanks handsome.'

'No thanks needed, I want you chilled out before you got back to that office of yours.'


	18. After Heartbreak

Disclaimer I hate you so much for making me keep saying this: I do not own Criminal Minds.

A.N: FF went weird so I took time out to get a little bit ahead of myself and this came from it... even though it is the end, it prevented my muse clearing off gallivanting!! Enjoy!!

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Penelope stood in the mirror and although the faintest of scars was left, her fingers still traced it and she held it as remembrance of what had occurred, how it had occurred, and how power its occurrence had become.

From that one line she realised the love she held and who she held it for, she learnt who loved her and who was out to hurt her and at the end of it she was stronger than she ever was. She could look at that scar and not feel bad or self conscious, she had nothing to hide and she had nothing to prove to anyone. She was still Penelope Garcia, the loud mouth, loud clothed, lovable woman.

Scratch that she was now Penelope Morgan, loud mouth, loud clothed, lovable woman. Her surname on its own made her smiled. The scar was nearing 3 years old; her surname was wearing 2 years old. She never got tired of hearing someone state her whole name; every time was a new hit. She'd married Derek Morgan. The Derek Morgan, the man that she fell in love with from the word Gomez, the man that was her best friend and family before the man that would love her. Then it had happened, he loved her, she loved him, then there was the argument, her actual breaking heart and then eternal love. Now, now was where her hand sat.

Penelope's hand had dropped from her chest to her stomach and she smiled more. Another reason why the scar on her chest didn't matter anymore. The more important thing to her than Derek was their child. Their little boy that grew in her. At first she was hesitant to get pregnant, she didn't know if, with her heart condition, she'd be allowed to bear a child but with multiple doctor visits and a medication change she had the all clear and Derek and Penelope sure ran with it.

So she was 7 months pregnant, in a big house with plans to expand the family living in it and she had a husband that dotted her beyond anything that even she had thought of. Derek brought home flowers after every case, and made sure he remembered everything that was significant and made sure she was always happy and stress free.

Derek remembered dates like they were drawing breaths. Every birthday was celebrated in style, valentines was made special, Christmas was always blown right out proportion but each one she loved more with each passing year. The dates that were more significant were the night of the argument and the night her condition came out into the open and so was when she'd had the surgery, those two dates being so close to one another made Derek take Penelope away. The first year while Penelope was still regaining her full health he'd taken her to Chicago, the following year he'd taken her to France.

She laughed as she looked at the photo of them at the Eiffel Tower, he told her once they got there it was all for selfish reasons, he wanted to hear her speak that French lingo and she'd giggled and stepped in closer, her eyes glinting predatorily.

'Mon Cheri, Je t'aime de tout mon Coeur.' She whispered and Derek pulled her closer and she felt how hard he'd got. 'You're so easily turned on.'

She loved those little moments, but this year she wouldn't be leaving her state or country, Derek had everything planned but she'd be happy to just be with Derek.

As she flipped her hair she smiled, she heard the door go and she made sure her curls sat perfectly, and her clothes looked good. She then made her way to the stairs and headed down them. Derek was standing there with his back leant against the door, his hands on his head tiredly.

'Now, you want bed or food?'

'I want you.'

'Well look at me then.' He said as she continued down the stairs and he just continued to stare at him. 'Bed or food?' She asked him again.

'Well look at you Red.' He said and a smiled graced his face as he pushed back from the door and walked towards her. 'I think I want you.'

'Why would that be?'

'Because my sexy wife just made herself sexier.' He said and pulled her close to him like he always did, his fingers running through her freshly red curls, and began to kiss her passionately. 'Why the change?'

'Why not? I've wanted to do it for a while and me and bubba got bored so we decided to give daddy a surprise.'

'Well daddy loves it.'

'I'm glad... now let's get food because I'm eating for two here and we're starving.' Penelope told him and went to move away but Derek tightened his grip around her. 'Okay just a moment longer.'

Derek breathed in Penelope's scent, his left hand running the curve of her back, his other hand running the course of her bulging stomach and he just wanted this moment to freeze for a while.

In the 3 years since having Penelope die in his arms, he had made himself an inner promise, one to stick by Penelope every step in life and so far he had done it and he could never be happier. When they were at a stage in Penelope's recovery where the doctor encouraged light jogging as an exercise Derek had encouraged it even more.

At first she'd hesitated, but once she'd done it a couple of times she found her natural rhythm begin to kick in and her strength begin to redevelop. Soon Penelope was able to begin sprinting and she found it her best release from her heart condition.

Now he had his baby girl loving life and living it to the fullest and he was deadly certain that he was going to keep it that way. He had Penelope n his life, he had her as his wife, he had her as the woman bearing his child and he hoped to keep it that way.

Through all the heartbreak that had occurred came love, came honesty, came a happily ever after and the pair of them would cherish the day Penelope died forever.

It had brought them together after.

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_**The End!**_

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_**A/N:**_ So there you have it guys!! A perfect MG HEA!!! Hope you enjoyed and thanks for all the reviews and thanks for reading!!! =)


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